Page 70 of Love Me Not

It was better this way, of course.

But that didn’t change how I felt.

Unfortunately, the one night had solidified everything I felt.And I’d come to one resounding conclusion that I had no idea how to deal with.

I’m in love with Juliette.

It wasn't just some crush.I couldn’t just fuck her out of my system.

I wanted her.Needed her.I couldn't even fathom having anyone else in my bed or in my life besides her.

I just didn’t know what my next steps would be.

* * *

The few days after our sex-filled night were… easy.The tension was gone, like we’d quenched our thirst, but I knew it was only a matter of time before it became unbearable again.

Hell, I started craving her the morning after, but I had to keep myself together.As much as I wanted her, I needed to make sure I did this right.

I needed to show her that she wasn't just a fuck to me.That I took her seriously.That I took this thing between us seriously, as serious as the relationship developing between her, Bella, and myself.

It was so much more complicated than just asking her to be my girlfriend.

Asking her to be my girlfriend… Who am I?

In love, that’s what I am.And fucked.

I couldn’t forget the ethical side.I was her boss, and I didn't want her to feel like she had to be with me to keep her job.

I would never take advantage of her like that.

So I’d have to wait for her to make the first move.

Relinquishing control, not being able to do anything about what I felt for her, made me antsy.Even as I sat through meetings, at my desk, at lunch.All I could think about was how I wanted to do it.

I thought about extravagant bouquets of flowers in her room.Roses, of course.

I thought of taking her out to an expensive dinner.Maybe something overlooking downtown.

I thought about taking her back to the club.

I had more than enough ideas, but none of them seemed right.She deserved all of it, if not more.And I couldn't wait until I could finally shed this professional cover and take her into my arms.

And then there was Bella.

I wasn’t totally sure what she would think when she found out about Juliette and me.

Would she be happy?Would she be jealous?Would she be angry?

And what if we didn’t work?What if she had to watch Juliette walk out of her life?She needed stability.

I won’t let that happen.

I knew I could make Juliette happy if only I had the chance.

I was starting to feel like I knew her.Her likes and dislikes.

She loved to do things with her hands but didn't love getting dirty.I noticed that when she was playing with Bella, she’d immediately go wash her hands if they got dirty.

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