Page 76 of There's a Way

I don’t actually mind seeing Dr. Woods most of the time, but Ireallydidn’t want to talk about my grandparents yet, so I dawdled and fretted until Master ordered me to get dressed and leave.

Security followed me off the ridge to make sure no one was tailing me, and then made a right turn at some point to head back to the Beast Castle.

I reluctantly drove myself to the business tower beside the hospital, parked, and made my way to the elevator. Step by step. I’d so much rather have just gone to work.

I was his first patient of the day at seven in the morning, so he motioned me right in even though I was five minutes early. No receptionist yet, just the doctor.

“How did things go in Alaska?” He asked as we walked into his office, before we even took our seats.

And I decided to talk about what I’d learned about supernaturals, rather than talk about my grandparents. You see, I’d figured out a hack. I tried to tell Angie, Master’s house manager, about werewolves, and it just came right out. She told me she’s a lioness once I told her who’d managed my oath. So, it made sense that if I tried to tell someone who didn’t know, I wouldn’t be able to, right? The weird oath-thing would stop me.

I started out by telling him about Alfheim, and then learning about shifters and vampires. Would it let me tell him about Jupiter? Only one way to find out.

“I met Jupiter. Like, the real guy, who apparently lives on Olympus. The old gods, the pantheon deal, that’s all fucking real?” I managed to tell him the whole thing without any problem, which meant he knew, of course.

“It is, and I find it interesting Jupiter introduced himself to you. I take it you ran into danger?”

“Nathan apparently pulled him in and asked him to intercede. It’s more about them protecting Micca than anything to do with me, but I still appreciate that Nathan cares enough to make sure we’re safe.”

“You were never religious, were you? How has this affected your view of reality, spirituality, God?”

“One of my foster families made us go to church, but I never put a whole lot of stock in a God who’d let me be born into a family who treated me worse than an animal. I guess this shows me I was right? There isn’t someone looking out for us. The gods left a long time ago, decided humans fought too many wars in their name, and we’d all be better off if they left us to our own devices.” I shrugged. “Maybe we would’ve been if we hadn’t gone and createddifferentgods to fight over.”

“What’s the saying?” Dr. Woods asked. “More wars have been fought in god’s name than for any other reason?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I guess. Basically, unless your girlfriend happens to be under the protection of the motherfucking King of the Lions, there isn’t a chance in Hell that one of the gods is going to intercede in your life and help you.”

“It’s my understanding that the pantheon gods believe in an overarching universal being, I guess what we’d call the One True God. A being without gender, and it’s possible this being’s body is the universe, from what I gather, though that partseems a bit…” He shrugged. “Obscure? Out of the range of our intellectual capabilities? Unknowable at our level of three-D understanding?”

“It still feels like everything is just chance and luck. Whether you’re born into the royal family, or the child of a billionaire, or into a middle-class family.”

“Or into hell,” he said.

I nodded. That was a little close to the mark, and I didn’t trust my voice.

“And your grandparents didn’t know anything about your situation, so it’s hard to be mad at them.”

He said it as a statement, and I nodded in agreement but said, “I think I’m still a little mad, though, and I didn’t realize it until just now.”

“Perfectly logical for you to be mad. Is it something you want to talk to them about?”

“No. It’s possible I’m pissed at the gods more than my parents or grandparents, and I don’t even care if it’s logical or not. And maybe it’s fate or chance that I’m pissed at. Hell, maybe I’m pissed at the universe itself.”

Micca sometimes referred to The Universe as if it should be capitalized, as if it were some kind of god. Did she believe as Dr. Woods said the old gods did?

“I wish I had an exercise to help you work through the anger, something besides just talking through it, but this is one of those things you’re going to have to come to terms with. Honestly, it won’t hurt anything for you to be pissed at The Universe until you decide it no longer has any personal value for you to put forth that energy.”

“And if I never come to that conclusion?”

“You’re a smart guy. Some people never figure it out, others take twenty or more years to get there. I’m willing to bet it takes you less than five years. Seven, tops.”

I took a few seconds to consider what he was saying. “Is that your way of telling me I’m not going to get over this in a few weeks?”

He tilted his head and asked, “Did you like your grandparents, once you met them in person?”

“I did. I can see my own mannerisms in some of the things my grandfather does. Also, I didn’t expect to have so much in common with my grandmother.”

And maybe therewassomething Dr. Woods could help me work through. Something I actually wanted to talk about and figure out.

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