Page 109 of Wanting What's Wrong

I’m not a saint. I make shitty deals, twist the truth, bribe people, coerce them and tell outright lies to get what I want. But I never break a promise. I don’t make many of them, but one of the biggest ones was telling Lilith I would take care of Lennie as my own daughter for the rest of my life. That she would never know that our marriage was all a load of bullshit because she wanted her to believe in love.

Calling her those things while I toe fucked her tight little virgin opening--something I’ve never done or thought of doing before she sat there across from me with her pussy on display… Fuck, I’ve tried to keep my demons at bay, but they are out now and there’s no putting them back.

The worst part is that sheismy little girl. Deep in my black rotten gut, I know that’s the truth. I love her. I have visions of her dripping with my seed one second, then the next I want to give her a bubble bath with a hundred fucking rubber duckies while she wears a million-dollar diamond tiara.

My brain is fucked but, I love her so much. And, yeah, in ways a father shouldn’t. But that seems to matter less and less, minute by minute… since I saw that fucker’s hands on her.

Now, I know what’s started. A media storm that will take an entire PR agency to spin and a few of my top-paying attorneys as well, most likely. Lennie is my top priority, but she’s at the center of this storm as well, and I need to man the fuck up and take care of business.

I don’t remember the last time it rained, but as I step out of the back of the limo and motion for Henry to go, the cool deluge soaks my hair and face. I stare up at the stone and brick house with its classic ivy and slate roof. I paid cash for the thirteen-thousand-square-foot mansion with seven acres and multipleother smaller structures. I had a custom garage built to match, with an enormous apartment above just for my mother’s visits, hoping she would decide to leave Brooklyn, Michigan and live here with me.

That didn’t happen, and the structure burned to the ground the night I met Lennie, putting a quick end to the celebration of the fake marriage to her mother. I was sure that disaster was a sign, but it was too late. One look at Lennie and something clicked in my heart. I mourned the loss of all my classic cars and motorcycles, but perspective is everything. I nearly lost my mother. So, when they pulled her out, alive but badly burned on her legs, no amount of classic cars mattered.

She lived. Thankfully. She’s in a wheelchair now but as stubborn and independent as ever. I spent every day in the hospital with her, then flew her home at her insistence on my private jet. I oversaw the renovations to our family home to make it not just wheelchair accessible but customized with every doodad and piece of equipment that would make her life easier.

This place is far from the thousand-square-foot little bungalow on the farm back home. The mansion here wasn’t even a home until Lilith and Lennie settled in.

Shame and rain chill me as I walk through the still-open front door, Marlene and Carl, the house managers, lingering in the hallway waiting to see what’s what.

Lennie has always been quiet, and I’m sure her running into the house in clear distress through the pouring rain has them worried.

“Everything’s okay. Just…” I shake my head, handing my drenched jacket to Marlene. “Just take the night off. In fact, take the weekend off.”

They stare at me like I’m speaking Latin. “Weekendoff?” Carl repeats, and I nod.

“You know how much I enjoy repeating myself, right?” I say as I make my way to the stairs, my phone in my hand, looking atthe shit storm of messages and calls I’ve missed since I left the party.

As much as I hate it, I make my way to my office, avoiding the hallway leading to our bedrooms. I had her room moved next to mine after Lilith passed. I wanted her next to me, even rearranging my room so that my bed was on the same wall.

I’ve often wondered how she didn’t catch on about her mother and my ‘marriage.’ Sure, for the cameras, we played it up a bit; a kiss on the cheek, a hug, her squeezing my face. But it was all in our contract. All the details of what I would and wouldn’t do.

No kissing on the mouth. No sex, of course. No handholding. No ‘I love you’s’. No sleeping in the same bed. The list went on and on.

How did Lennie not see?

I guess because I’m a grumpy asshole, she must have figured all our affection was behind closed doors. It wasn’t. I even had a hallway constructed after the contract was signed that connected the main, primary bedroom suite with another bedroom where I slept. We both traveled a lot, so that also helped. But still, as much as Lilith wanted Lennie to believe in love, what we displayed wasn’t anything like love should be. It’s another long list of regrets I have when it comes to how everything went down.

But, in the end, it brought Lennie to me, so I’m nothing if not a savant at damage control. Somehow, I’ll find the workaround to all the promises made and mistakes of the past.

At least, that’s what I’m telling myself. I strip off my soaked shirt and pants in my office, grab a pair of jeans and a t-shirt from the closet of clothes I keep in there, and settle in behind my laptop to see just how bad things are.

My work email is blasted, but there’s no one of any consequence I need to answer. My work phone is the same—Davis says he’s working damage control.

I can always count on him. He’s my partner, but he lands a significant number of our biggest clients. He let her tag along with him because I asked, taught her what he could. I saw how hard she tried and knew he would keep her safe. She may never be an agent, but giving her what makes her happy has given me more purpose than the rest of the years of my life.

There’s a text from my mom on my personal line.

Mom:I’ve seen the videos. You always had a temper. I’m sure it was for a good reason. Just, if you need me, know I’m always here for you. xoxo

Me:Yes, I had very good reasons. How are you? I’m sorry I didn’t call tonight like usual, obviously, things got a little hairy.

Mom:You never have to apologize to me. I love that you call me every night, but it’s not like you lose son points if you don’t. I love you no matter what. I mean that. Deal with your little mess there. Take care of Lennie, that’s number one. I’d love a visit, as always. If you need to get away, my door is always open. Your room is still just like you left it!

Me:lol. I’m going to pay someone to come in there when you’re not home and strip off that cowboy wallpaper and all the Harley and ZZ-top posters. It’s embarrassing, Mom. More embarrassing than me kicking the shit out of that asshole.

Mom:Will he be okay? No jail time coming for you?

Me:Naw. He’s fine. He had it coming.

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