Page 104 of Feral Creed

“I don’t know,” I say. “I’m twenty-five years old. I want… a choice. That got taken from me. I want thechoicerestored.” I look at Striker. “Like you’re saying, we all need choices.”

I feel a surge of goodness in the bond, agreement, all of us settling together. It’s very nice. I writhe into the sensation of it, feeling supported and loved and accepted.

Then I lift my head. “Knight, what you did, it’s not cool. You took away our choice. You forced us here.”

“Whatever,” says Knight, banding an arm around my waist and holding me tightly against his firm chest. “You guys all talk too much and you think too much. We need each other. End of story. That’s all that matters.”

“Well,” says Striker, “that matters, but it’s notallthat matters.”

Knight snorts. “You’re just making it complicated.”

“It is complicated,” says Calix ruefully. “But I think you’re all right. What we have together is simple. I’ve been fighting it, because I thought it was boxing me in. But if you guys mean it, if we can have this—us—and still have choices? I want that more than anything on earth. I’ve never had—” His voice breaks. “I’venever had a family like this, people who love me, who won’t turn on me if I do the wrong thing. My mother cut my off. My father—well, he never could even acknowledge he was my father without causing tension in the pack. And when I left, they turned their backs on me. I want to trust you all, I really do, I just… I don’t know if I knowhowto trust like that.”

“We’re going to teach you,” says Knight. “And if you get confused again, I will kidnap you, tie you up, and feed you my cock until you get it.”

I can’t help but laugh.

“You know, that’s actually sweet of you, Knight,” says Calix, smiling up at the other alpha. “I fucking love you, Knight, do you know that?”

“I do know that,” says Knight. “And I love you, too. I love all of you. Because you are allmine.”

I giggle, wriggling into his body. “You’re right, Calix. He’s a caveman. He’s just going to club us over the head and drag us into warehouses by our hair whenever he feels like it.”

“Damned straight,” says Knight.

“Okay, so, about the cuffs?” says Striker.

“Oh,” says Knight. “Are we done? Or do you guys want to talk this to death for twelve more hours?”

I yawn, feeling a sleepy warmth trickle into me from the bond and our shared happiness. “I think there’s going to be a lot of talking in our future, yeah.”

Knight groans.

“But now, sleep would be nice,” I say. “Can’t we go sleep in our nest, the nest I made for us, the perfect, good nest? Please, Knight?”

“I worked very hard to make this place comfortable for you guys,” says Knight.

“Mmm, let’s agree I’m better at nesting than you,” I say with another yawn.

“I mean,” says Knight, “that’s not fair. You’re an omega. You have nestinginstincts.”

“You have good instincts too,” says Striker to Knight. “We wouldn’t be what we are without you, Knight.”

“We wouldn’t be what we are without each and every one of us,” says Knight seriously. “I need all of you. And you guys, no matter how much you worry, you need each other, too.”

27

calix

I SLEEP THATnight in our nest, my nude body pressed between Striker’s and Knight’s. I don’t really believe that everything’s going to be okay. I want to believe it, but I can’t. Nothing in my entire life has ever worked out well, so I just can’t believe it, not yet.

But I want to believe it, and so I decide I’ll try.

Lotus is right.

There’s a lot of talking in our future.

Arrow starts texting us all these links about about ethical nonmonogamy, and he seems very gung-ho about the way it should work, even if he claims that he has no interest in having sex outside of the pack. But he says it’s all about communication and boundaries and respecting each other’s boundaries. He tells us about the concept of compersion, which is when you get a vicarious experience from seeing a person you care about have sexual pleasure with someone who is not you. And while I can admit that I have experienced this with the pack, when I try to imagine Lotus, for instance, having sex with someone outside the pack, it makes my stomach churn.

---