Page 3 of Cooper

“Yeah, I had to wash it twice to get it all out. I was so sure you would be upset. Did you see the video?”

Saige nods her head “Yeah. Hawke sent it to everyone. I also saw you cringe and back up a little after you threw some on Wolfe. I hope you know that none of the guys here would ever hurt you.”

I lean back against the cushiony backboard. I sigh. “I want to believe that Saige. But it’s hard to. Michael was so sweet when we first got together, then after I moved in with him, he became the most horrible monster I’ve ever seen, Rancor was a picnic compared to him. Not that he isn’t horrible, but he didn’t touch us, ya know. I’m having a hard time with Cooper. How do you do it with Cotton? How do you let him have sex with you, knowing how much it’s going to hurt? I want to let Cooper have his pleasure, but I’m so afraid to go through that pain again.” I’m crying now. Saige looks at me, and I see the sadness in her eyes.

“Oh Bex. Sex isn’t supposed to hurt. Especially if it is a loving relationship. Did you ever have an orgasm with Michael? Did he not get you excited beforehand? If not then he didn’t care about your pleasure at all, and he was even more of a monster for doing so.”

I look at Saige, “No, I’ve never had an orgasm in my life. Michael was the only person I’ve ever been with, and when he wanted to have sex, he would just go for it. He never kissed me or anything, he just pushed me down on the bed, did what he wanted, he even said I was the worst he’s ever had. That if it hurt it was my fault for not knowing how to please him. He even hit me and choked me a few times during it. The last time, he choked me until I passed out. He was smiling the whole time and I thought he was going to kill me. It terrifies me, Saige. I feel like Coop would be better off finding someone else. I love him enough that I would leave if that would make him happy.”

“Please don’t cry Bexley. My brother loves you, he’s patient. What Michael did was just flat out rape. There is no other way to say it. You need to know what pleasures you. Have you not ever pleasured yourself?” Saige asks. I shake my head no. “Oh Bex. What you need to do is next time you take a shower, feel yourself. Touch with different pressures. You’ll find out what you like and don’t like. When you are ready, use a vibrator, see what you like that way. Then you can work up to letting Coop help you, then the next step. Do what feels right and good to you. You know if you told Coop what you just told me; he would work with you. It would help y’alls relationship, showing that you trust him.”

I lean my head on her shoulder as I mull over the everything she just said. Why did I not realize that Michael was raping me? It was my first real relationship, and I’m now seeing that all the feelings that I had at the beginning, what I thought was love, was infatuation. Not love. “Thank you. I’ll try that, try to talk to Coop about it. I guess I’ve been pretty blind about a lot of things.” We sit in silence for a bit. I love that I have a best friend that I can talk to about anything and not feel like a freak. I’ve never had that in my life. I feel so lucky and blessed to have Saige. I hate how we met, but I’m glad to have her and her family in my life. We both laugh when the door busts open and Bethany comes bouncing in the room. Alivia pops her head in to say hi, then goes to take her shower.

“Auntie Bex! How did my cupcakes do today? Did I sells any?” she asks as she plops down on my lap. I take the comb that she is holding and lightly start to comb her hair.

“Hmm let me think. I know that there was twenty-four when your daddy brought them to the bakery. When I left there was only four left. So you sold twenty. That’s really good Baby doll.” She grins really big.

“Mommy, I sold twenty of my cupcakes. That means I can get more toys for the kids that don’t has any.”

“I’m so proud of you Princess. I think we’ll have to make some more in a few days. How does that sound?” Saige asks her.

Bouncing in my lap, Bethany says, “Oh yeth. The more we makes and sells the more toys I can gets.”

I hug her close as I grab the bag beside me to show her the new outfits we got her. She loves her princess dresses. I found a pink outfit that says ’I’m a Princess’ in glitter. It’s a shirt that has a frilly tutu sewed onto it, the other is a purple slip dress with unicorns on it. The outfits we got the twins is really cute. I reach the bag over to Saige to look at. She pulls out the three outfits that are left in it. Joseph’s is a white onesie that has a little vest on it. It says future Renegade Viper on the back, Nellie’s is pink with a vest that says Renegade Viper Princess. She pulls out Bethany’s last. It is a pink t-shirt with a little vest that she can wear over anything, it also says Princess on the front with property of Cotton and Saige on the back. Saige looks at me with tears in her eyes. “Thank you so much. I love them. Look Bethany, you now have a vest like mommy and daddy.”

Bethany grabs the vest and puts in on over her pajamas. “I loves it. Thank you Auntie Bex. I’m going to wears it always.” She kisses my cheek and hugs me tight. I hug her back, kissing her cheek.

“You are so welcome Baby doll. I have a new book for you too.”

I hand her the book just as Alivia shows up in the door. “It’s your bedtime Princess. I hear you got a new book, I’ll read it to you.” Bethany gives us both a hug and says. “Night night mommy and Bex. Love you both bunches.” We say the same to her as she takes Alivia’s hand. They head upstairs to her room. We can hear Alivia telling Bethany that she loves her vest.

I look at Saige and see that she is getting tired. I tell her to get some rest and that I’ll call her tomorrow. I then walk downstairs to the game room to find Coop. We haven’t eaten anything and my stomach is growling. He is leaning up against the pool table when I walk in. “Hey babe, whatcha doing down here?” he asks.

“Saige just went to sleep; Bethany is being read to and going to bed. Saige loved the outfits. I’m starving and I know you haven’t eaten. I figured I could order us a pizza or something, and have it delivered to the clubhouse.”

“Yeah that sounds good. How about a Philly cheese steak and fries from Primos?”

“Yeah that sounds good. I’ll order it right quick. You want everything on yours?” I ask. He nods his head yes, as I pull my phone out and call it in. We say our goodbyes to everyone then head out to the ATV. It takes about ten minutes to get back to the clubhouse and the delivery guy is pulling in the same time we do. Cooper pays for our food then we go straight to our room.

Five

Tires

I carrythe bag of food back to the room. Bex looks so lost in thought as I unlock the door, letting her go in. “Babe, are you okay?”

She turns to face me as she sits down on the bed. “Yeah, just going over some of the things Saige and I talked about. It was just eye opening for me. Can I ask you a question? I’ve always wondered but never really asked. Where did all of y’alls money come from? I mean, um, you don’t have to answer that. Just forget I asked.” She stutters, looking down.

I sit the bag down beside her, and cup her face in my hands, tilting it up so that she is looking at me. “You never need to be afraid to ask me anything. As for the money, our grandfather and great uncle live out in Wyoming. They’ve got over four thousand acres of land, that they found a huge amount of oil on. They’ve been pumping from there for years and are still getting oil. So, granddad set up savings accounts for Saige, Loki, and me. He and our uncle still have money going into all three accounts, plus since our uncle never married or had kids, he has his will set up for the money to go to the three of us evenly. Dad and Aunt Stella get their own dividends from it as well. That’s how I was able to build the shop, get my car. Saige was able to buy her truck and the shop, build the house. She went in with Cotton to build it and get the furniture. Loki bought his car with it. And Cotton got the life insurance from his mom’s and brother’s policies. That’s why his dad was going to kill them. He was going to leave and come back to find them all dead and the house ransacked when Cotton came home that evening. None of us have to work, but we love what we do.” I watch her as she absorbs all this information. I know that it has to be shocking to her. “Is there anything else you want to know?”

Bex looks at me, “Can you tell me about your mom?”

I sigh, “I can tell you what I know about her from everyone else. She died while having me. She hemorrhaged out. Dad said that she was his high school girlfriend. She had short brown hair, hazel eyes, petite. She was shy. Aunt Stella and she were close friends. Marilynn. She didn’t have a middle name. Her parents died in a car crash when I was two, so I don’t remember them. They left everything to me in their will, which is in my savings. Dad sold the little house to some flipping show. It was falling apart and wouldn’t be standing by now if he hadn’t. He said mom hated that house. Her dad was a pastor, and very controlling. She ran away in order to be with dad. They got married, built the clubhouse with Stella and Cruz, then she died having me.” I look up to see Bexley is crying. “Don’t cry babe. I have pictures of her, Stella or dad will talk to me about her from time to time. Stella says that I’m more like dad, but that I have mom’s attitudes or mannerisms in certain things. Stella helped to raise me, and I think I came out alright, don’t you?” I laugh.

“Yeah, I think you came out pretty great. Let’s eat, the food is getting cold.” Bex says as she hands me my sub and fries. I grab us both a paper plate from the shelf I have, and I get us both a Coke from the fridge.

“You know, I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned your folks.” I say as I hand her the plate and Coke.

Bex fixes everything how she wants it, takes a bite of her sub, then looks at me. “My childhood was great up until I turned eight. My dad was a pilot, he did the crop dusting from his plane for the three big ranches around us, as well as piloting a private jet for one of those ranchers. Dad was my everything and I was his. Mom was ready to leave dad, and she only had me because he wanted me. He said that he had bought all the books on babies, read them all, sang to me, talked to me. He was exhilarated when I was born. Dad had bought the best of everything he could for me. He was the one to name me. Bexley means woodland clearing or meadow of box trees, it was also my great grandma’s name. Ann was my grandma’s name; it means Eagle in Greek. Mom never had much to do with me, I ruined her figure and took her freedom. I was dad’s shadow. I loved flying in the plane with him. He was flying the Henson family to some cattle convention when they hit a bad storm and flew into a mountain that they couldn’t see. They said that dad had a photo of me in his shirt pocket over his heart. He always kept it with him when he flew. Mom was never the same. Neither was I to be honest, but mom became abusive towards me. You’ve seen Cinderella, well it was like that without the stepsisters, fairy godmother, or prince. I left when I was sixteen after she died. She despised being sick and me having control of her money, but I showed her receipts to everything I spent it on. Met Michael. You know the rest.”

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