Page 40 of Unseen

I wondered for a moment if it had been that way for Azriel - had it, in fact, been love at first sight for him? Had he looked upon me and been so hell-bent on having me, that the second his father was out of the way, he’d had to claim me? What if Azriel’s intentions were pure, and true, and simply sullied by the influence of a father who’d never known any motivation but his own selfishness?

Was that the kind of love story anyone would be able tounderstand? Surely, such a bittersweet tale would stir people’s hearts?

With a sigh, I realised I was being ridiculous.

People loved rules. They loved their place. They loved the privileges that their position afforded them. They would not care for a love story like mine, even if the fantasy I had dreamed up for myself was true. There was no possible way anyone would understand. To understand would be to unravel the very fabric upon which they wiped their feet. I was merely the dirt left behind.

It was raining when we reached the church, and I bid Mary to wait for me, lest she get cold and wet for no reason. I hurried down the slippery path, finding the church empty save for an elderly woman polishing the organ pipes. She met me with a warm smile as I rushed in out of the rain, her large blue eyes twinkling underneath a green bonnet.

“I’m terribly sorry to bother you, but I had wondered if Father Price was here?”

She shook her head slowly. “I’m sorry, madam, but Father Price has been called away for the morning. A child has been born.”

“Oh, I see.” I wiped my hands over the rain on my skirts. “I’m sorry, I shall leave you to your work then.”

“No, no, this is God’s house, and you are welcome.” She gestured to the front of the church with an open hand. “Please, do not let me deter you. You’ve come here to seek…” She seemed to take in my attire for the first time, and her eyes softened. “Ah, Mistress Caine, my apologies, I did not recognise you immediately. I am Edith Foster, my brother, George, he works for - worked for your husband, God rest his soul.”

“Oh goodness.” I took a few more steps into the church as the rain began to pelt down from the sky in heavy sheets. “You are George’s sister, how delightful to meet you.”

“I am. His much older sister.” She let out a soft laugh. “I like to come and help Father Price keep the church tidy. Now that I am an old lady, with grown children and too much time on my hands.”

“That is very kind of you.” I did not know why I was still standing in that church, why I was talking to this woman I did not know. But I did not want to return to the house. “Have you been in this parish long?”

“I have indeed.” She picked up a vase from a table beside the organ, checking the flowers held within it. “I arranged the flowers, you know, for your wedding. Those pretty roses, all from the Chatham garden, as requested by your aunt.” She smiled at me wistfully. “You were such a pretty bride, madam. I’ve never seen a happier groom in my life.”

God truly was punishing me. Why else would I have encountered this kindly old woman who’d witnessed my first marriage, at this very moment? When my body ached, and there was a throb of pain between my legs, reminding me of exactly what awaited me when I returned to Linmere.

“Oh dear, have I upset you?” Edith’s eyebrows shot up, and she took a few steps towards me, the vase still in her hand. “I’m so sorry, how thoughtless of me."

I shook my head, dashing away the tear that raced down my cheek. “No, no, it’s quite alright. I am still… I am not sure. I still feel so…”

“Vulnerable?” Edith offered with a soft smile. “I understand. I lost my dear husband ten years ago, and the pain never quite goes away.”

The walls of the church seemed to close in on me, and I backed towards the door. “I’d best go. Thank you. I’m sorry again for disturbing you.”

“Not at all, madam. Be well.” She smiled and nodded, and I dipped my head before hurrying back out into the rain.

“This weather is truly dreadful, madam, you’re going tocatch your death of cold!” Mary scolded as I climbed into the carriage.

Death of cold. One could only wish.

“I’m quite alright, Mary, a warm bath once we are home will do me good.”

Despite Mary’s best attempts to keep her displeasure hidden, I caught the slight exasperated widening of her eyes at my words. But she turned to me with a smile, and a nod. “Of course, madam.”

The rain continuedto beat against the windows as I languished in the steaming bath. I’d asked Mary to make it hotter than usual, so my skin blushed pink at the water’s touch. I closed my eyes, letting out a long breath, imagining the water washing away all the previous night’s filth and shame.

I’d truly be bathing daily once I was Azriel’s wife.

“I could watch you like this all day.”

My eyes flew open to find Azriel smirking at me from the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Hello, beloved.”

“Am I never to know a moment’s peace?” I huffed out a sigh, pulling my knees up to my chest in an attempt to hide myself from him. “Are you no longer content with simply watching me from the walls, now you must walk in while I bathe?”

“I missed you.” He looked me up and down, dragging his lower lip through his teeth. “And you do look so beautiful like this.”