Page 19 of Bad to the Bone

The words steal the breath right out of my lungs and tears make my vision blurry.

“I can’t believe you would say that to me,” I whisper, still not able to catch my breath.

“Aunt Kim, I don’t mean to be mean, but WAKE UP! Why can’t you see people for who they really are?”

“You don’t really mean it. You aren’t trying to be mean, but you...can’t just...say things like that.” I backpedal out of the room and head towards the safety of my bedroom.

Shannon gives chase, stopping in her bedroom for a moment before proceeding into mine.

“Look,” she throws an old, worn journal at me. I recognize the handwriting instantly and close the book.

“That’s your mom’s journal. Those things are just for you.”

“Oh get a grip, Aunt Kim. Stop being so fucking decent to people who were never decent to you.” She retrieves the journal and flips to the right page and begins to read. “I love Tom so much, even knowing we won’t be together I can’t bring myself to get rid of his baby. I feel sorry for his wife, but love happens without asking permission. Despite what she says, I know he’ll choose me. What we have is real love. The kind that never dies.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Tom. Tom Turner. Mayor Tom Turner. He had a wife back then too. And mom knew about her, and she did what she wanted to do anyway. I guess she was super pissed when good ole Tom chose his WIFE over her.” Disgust turns the corners of her mouth down as she talks. There is no soothing sunshine or calm in her voice. Like this, she is more like the Mia that I once knew. Even her cruel smile and sarcasm remind me of Mia.

“But...”

“Zayne and I are less than a year apart, which means that he knew. He knew his wife was pregnant and he was still running around with my mom.”

“Maybe their marriage wasn’t happy.” The words sound hollow as I say them. No matter what I can’t let Shannon think her mother is a habitual home wrecker. Mia is dead and gone. There is nobody left to defend her. Even after what she did to me, I’m still her sister.

“So what? Get a divorce and THEN screw around.” Shannon rolls her eyes at my feeble excuse.

“So now what? What do you want me to do with this information?”

Shannon sits next to me on the bed. The rage and anger drain from her face, leaving it the picturesque visage that I know so well. Taking both of my hands in hers, she looks me in the eye without saying anything for nearly a minute.

“Nothing,” she says finally. “I don’t want you to do anything. There’s nothing to do. Just admit to yourself that your sister was a terrible person who hurt a lot of people. She hurt Grandma and Grandpa. She hurt you. She hurt me. That’s who she was. That’s how she decided to live.”

“But,” I interrupt her. “You don’t understand. She was hurt too. When her parents split up, it was like the end of her perfect life.”

“Yeah, I know. Grandpa left Grandma Lane for Grandma,” Shannon nods, waving her hand dismissively.

“It was more than that. Grandma Lane just...she just fell apart. Can you imagine how hard it must have been for your mom as a little girl to watch her family split up and then her mom goes off the deep end.”

“So that gives her the right to sleep with your fiancé?”

“No, but, in a weird way she was just trying to get back at her dad, not me.”

Shannon looks at me with disbelief.

“You are unbelievable,” she says, shaking her head.

“Shannon.”

She lets go of my hands and stands up. I can’t tell if she is angry or just profoundly disappointed in me. This parenting thing should really come with a manual. I can’t tell if I am doing it right.

“I can’t talk to you right now,” she says, turning her back on me.

“Shannon, please try to understand-”

“I understand. I understand that you are either too stupid or too weak to see things for what they are. I thought you would understand, Aunt Kim. You, of all people, should understand.”

She leaves the room and I don’t follow. Nothing good can come from pressing the issue. Instead I let myself cry. It’s been a while since I had a good cry. The phone rings and I don’t bother answering. I know it’s probably Zayne, but I simply can’t deal right now. I pull the covers up over my head and wait for sleep to take me. I don’t know how long I’ve been laying there when the sound of the doorbell wakes me. I look over at the alarm clock and see that it’s just past midnight.

The doorbell continues to ring again and again, making me anxious. Shannon doesn’t make any move to answer it so I pull myself up out of bed. As my feet touch the floor I am struck with an alarming thought.

Zayne. Something bad must have happened.

I rush to the door and throw it wide open without bothering to check who it is. I am met by an equally frantic looking Zayne.

“Are you okay?” we ask in unison.

Both of us reach for each other, and it’s the best feeling in the world. I rest my head on his chest and cling to his warm, strong frame. He rests his chin on the top of my head and doesn’t make any attempt to move from his spot. Several minutes pass with us standing in the doorway like that, asking no questions and expecting no explanation.

We’re together, and right now, that’s all that matters in the world.

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