Page 31 of Bad to the Bone

He had nobody. He was alone. I have Kim.

The thought of her soothes the ache in my chest. I saw her earlier today at a stop light in town. She looked good. Like a fool I followed her to the post office and watched from the parking lot as she made copies and sent a certified letter. It looks like she and Shannon have sorted things out for themselves. It hurts to think about them moving on without me. But, I know my Kim, she won’t let her family down...even if that family is missing a few fatally flawed members. She will be okay.

I dive into bed as soon as I get home and, with the help of my mother’s prescription, manage to sleep until morning. School is the only thing that keeps me sane. So, I keep going even though most of the senior class has stopped showing up. The sparse crowds in the places where seniors usually gather are slowly being eyed by upcoming juniors. Everything is changing, though it seems to stay the same.

“Hey you.” Shannon saunters over to where I am sitting, smiling her sunny California girl smile. We haven’t really had a chance to talk since the day Kim and I broke up. I don’t really know what to say to her.

“Hey.”

“Are you not answering your phone these days, or is it just my calls?”

“I agreed to leave it with Tom until after graduation.”

“Ransom, huh? I hope you got something good for it,” she says with an uneasy smile.

“I did.” Letters of recommendation to whichever schools Kim applied to and a guaranteed scholarship from the VFW for Shannon.

“Aunt Kim wanted me to give you this,” she hands me the fountain pen I inherited from my grandfather. I thought it too had been lost in this barrage of defeats and losses.

“Thanks, you could have kept it, you know. It’s as much yours as it is mine.”

“Heirlooms from a dead guy I never knew? That’s okay, I’ll pass. Something tells me it will mean much more to you than it will to me,” she says with a wink. “See you around?”

She doesn’t wait for a reply, spinning on her heel and walking away with a happy bounce in her step. It will be a while before the results of our DNA test come back, but I don’t really need them anymore. We’re family, and it’s nice to see her still able to smile. It’s good to know that some part of me will stay by Kim’s side.

When I get home my mother and Clarice are sitting in the living room, stirring tea ominously. As soon as they hear the door close both of them focus on me, saccharine smiles spreading across their faces. It’s creepy.

“What?” I’m almost afraid to walk toward them.

“You have mail,” mom says, walking toward me with several envelopes in her hand. I know what they are before she hands them to me. Kim encouraged me to apply to several schools that weren’t on my original list. I wasn’t sure I would get in on my own, but I was sure of one thing; they were worlds away from my father and his associates. Many of them were small colleges that specialized in one or two disciplines. They weren’t Big Ten schools, but they had the kind of reputation that industry insiders counted on.

“Aren’t you going to open them?” Clarice beams at me, as if I hadn’t just blown her off twenty four hours ago.

“I will.” I turn and head up the stairs, taking the letters with me.

Alone in my room I rip open all of the envelopes. Most of them are rejections, but two are acceptance letters. I’m tempted to choose one of them, just to piss my dad off.

“Knock, knock,” Clarice calls from the other side of my door before pushing it open. “Sorry to disturb you but I have to get out of here soon.”

“Mmm.” I couldn’t care less.

“I just wanted to say, congrats to you. Let me know where you are going to be next year. We can hook up and hang out during breaks or something.”

“We aren’t a couple Clarice,” I remind her.

“I know, and I totally kept your little outburst from yesterday to myself. I made an excuse for you to everyone, so your dad seemed to keep his cool.”

“You aren’t my girlfriend,” I reiterate.

“I know, but face it. You need me. I know how to play this game, and if you ever want to be successful at it, you’re going to need an ally like me. We don’t have to be a traditional couple, but I’m sure you understand how much we can help each other. For example, I can run interference while you go chase after that school teacher you’re in love with.”

Hearing her mention Kim makes my blood run cold.

“Who told you-”

“I told you, I know how this game is played. You think just because you don’t get involved that you’re not playing as well? The only difference between you and me is that while you wouldn’t lower yourself to even bother learning the rules, I love it. So you can either spend your whole life being controlled by people like me, or you can try to go at it alone and end up like your friend. “

I feel like I am seeing her clearly for the first time. She isn’t just another greedy airhead. The cold, methodical nature of her thoughts expose her, stripping away any softness from her features. Her hawkish intent is laid bare behind her eyes.

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