Page 39 of One Last Chance

“It’s stupid, remember? You have to tell it every single thing.”

“Oh, fine. There. Now what’s my password?”

“12345678, regular b, capital M.”

“BM?! What are you suggesting?!”

She ground her teeth and reached over him to click the mouse. “There! You’re logged in. Now, I have to go do some re-shelving, so if you need any more help, Christine is at the desk.”

I caught her gaze as she looked up and she rolled her eyes at me. I grinned, then nodded toward the mystery section—the most secluded portion of the main library. Daisy frowned, then glanced at a cart full of books and raised her eyebrows. Understood. Not missing a beat, I meandered over to the cart with a casual swagger and glanced over the titles. Self-help junk. That section wasn’t quite as secluded, but it was good enough. I walked toward the area Daisy indicated and pretended to be interested in Manifesting Real Property.

“Planning to buy a house?” she murmured in my ear as she approached, pushing the cart.

Yeah, right. If Breaker had his way, I wouldn’t be buying a damn thing for the next ten years. But I smiled at her and shrugged. “Maybe. Do you want one?”

She beamed at me as she slid a book onto the shelf. “Only if you live there with me,” she said lightly. “Where should we go? Kansas is cheap. Missouri? I’ve only driven through it once, but all I remember of it is green, like an overflowing garden everywhere. Nevada’s wild and empty. Oh, and I heard Montana started paying people to live there!”

It was almost painful to smile. I didn’t want her to stop talking. I loved the way her eyes lit up with hope, and I didn’t want to be the one to crush it. “What about California or New York? I seem to remember you being fascinated by the idea of living in a big city.”

She made a face. “That was before my dad took us to Austin for a work thing. It was awful, all freeways and boulevards with insanely high speed limits—45 in a residential area! And there was no end to it. There was Austin proper, but then it just spread and spread for hours in all directions and there were people everywhere all the time, and traffic never stopped—ever—it was like the city itself was in a hurry all the time. I was exhausted after three days.”

I nodded. “Understood, small towns it is.”

This could be good. If she’d already decided on a small town it wouldn’t take much to convince her that staying here wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

“Small or small-ish. It has to have a school for me—I want to be a full-fledged librarian, and that takes a degree. Oh, and big enough for a YMCA. I mean, I do want to have kids at some point in my life, and I’d very much like them to be able to have swimming lessons and karate and stuff without risking the wild water or paying an arm and a leg to a private tutor.”

I tried to smile but it was more of a grimace. “Kids, huh?”

She grinned at me wickedly. “Eventually. And who said you had to father them, anyway?”

I tickled her, punishing her for teasing me. She yelped once, then clapped a hand over her mouth and glared. “I am at work, sir!”

“Yes, you are. Be professional, Daisy.” I flinched like I was going to tickle her again and she squeaked in her throat. This felt so easy. Way too easy and way too familiar. So much so that it was almost heartbreaking. I didn’t let her see any of that on my face, though.

“Sorry, sorry,” I whispered. “I’ll be good, I promise.”

“Mm-hm. You better be.” Her eyes twinkled and her lips twisted with suppressed amusement. “At least for now. You know what the best part of moving out is going to be?”

“What?” My heart sank, but I kept the feeling off my face. Again, I wasn’t going to be the one to shoot down the dreams she was building up in her head. Not now. Not while she was at work.

Sidling over to me, Daisy lowered her voice to a sound barely above a sigh. “Being with you in an actual bed. You know… I don’t think we’ve ever done that?”

“Where’s the excitement in that?” I wrapped an arm around her and nuzzled her head. “It’s always more fun if you risk getting caught.”

She giggled and shoved me lightly away. “Not at work, Kash!”

I raised my hands in surrender. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. But…I was serious about it being more fun if you risk getting caught.”

She shook her head and flicked a warning gaze in my direction before sliding another book onto the shelf. That dreamy look was back in her eye again. “Where would you like to live?” she asked.

Anywhere, as long as you’re there. But what I said was, “I don’t know. I kind of like it here.”

It was a damn lie and she knew it. She narrowed her eyes at me suspiciously. “What’s going on, Kash?”

I kissed her quickly, tasting her lips like they were the last meal I’d ever have on this earth, slow and deliberate. When Daisy pulled back she was completely out of breath and pretty damn close to panting. “Nothing’s going on,” I told her. “Just looking at all my options. Speaking of which, can you help me get logged in on a computer? I promise I know what ‘lowercase’ means.”

She laughed, and I was thankful. She was easy enough to distract. Well, from some things. If I told her about the stipulations I’d learned about from my PO, she’d be brooding on the problem until it had passed or was solved. I didn’t want to be the kinda guy who walked back into her life just to lay more problems than necessary at her feet.

She walked us over to a free computer and took a lot less time getting me signed up than she did with Mr. Johnson. She was so professional about the whole thing too. It struck me then that I’d been doing an absolute shit job sneaking around with her, screwing her in the truck like a damn teenager and here she was, all grown up. She’d done it without me, and I without her. We were different people now than we had been before. Holding on to the same reckless dream seemed insane. Getting out of this town wouldn’t solve anything. We would have to live with ourselves wherever we went, carrying our losses and vices with us.

Maybe it was good that I was stuck here. It would force us to face the ghosts and skeletons of our pasts and overcome them together. Daisy would have to learn to stand up to her father. I would have to learn to get along with people who hated me. It would be good for everybody, right? Character building and whatever.

I twitched irritably in my chair but suppressed the part of my mind which was rebelling against my newfound perspective. I checked the status of my applications but got nowhere. Either I was at the bottom of a stack of applicants, or the hiring manager had seen my name and tossed the application out of hand. I wouldn’t blame them, not with all the bad press I’d been getting.

I scribbled a note for Daisy and folded it up, writing her name on the outside in big bold letters before tucking it between two rows of keys on the keyboard. There were ways to give her what she deserved, but I would need longer than the occasional stolen afternoon. It was time to implement part two of my plan.

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