Page 92 of Love is Angry

He stiffened as soon as I said “journalist” and hasn’t relaxed yet. “Are you going to do it?” He asks, his voice tight.

“Do you think I should?”

He looks out the window again, his gaze morphing into a glower as he drums his fingers on the steering wheel. “I think the world needs to know what kind of shitbag he is,” he says. “But I don’t want you to be the one to tell on him.”

“You’re afraid for me?”

“Damn right I’m afraid for you!” He hits his palm against the steering wheel, making me jump. When he turns to me, his eyes are swirling with fear and rage. “I saw the mess he left of Sibel, Maddie. That strong, no-nonsense, hard-working woman is a quivering shell of a person. My own mother was so broken down by him that everyone who knew her as a friend or colleague was completely unsurprised by her taking her own life. He’s a filthy misogynistic asshole, and I don’t want him to have any more reason to take it out on you.”

My heart swells to see his violence turned to passion in my favor. My mind says violence is violence, period, avoid at all costs; but my soul craves the protection of a beast, the fierce loyalty of a wolf. I kiss him, the cilantro of my salsa mingling with the fire of the hot sauce. His hand grips the back of my neck like he’s desperate to keep me there, touching him, forever. The mutual intensity slowly rolls out, dissipating in lazy, lingering kisses.

Eventually we pull away, our eyes locked on each other’s. I can see his pulse jumping where his neck meets his shoulder, his eyes darkening, nearly black. The scent of his lust hangs heavy in the car, a musk that drives me wild with desire and sends the red flags into a screaming, panicked frenzy in the back of my head. The conflict is tearing me apart and all I want to do is squash it.

“Maddie,” he says, his voice husky. “We need to talk about this.”

My heart sinks and I look away from him. “An ultimatum, right? If I’m going to be kissing you, I have to go all the way,otherwise I should leave you alone?” I swallow hard. “Or am I just too damaged for you to want?”

“Madison,” he snaps. “Look at me.”

I look. He gestures at his lap, the bulge in his pants. “I clearly want you. I’ve always wanted you. What my dad did didn’t change who you are, or how badly I want you.”

So it’s the first, then. Shit or get off the pot. A cold membrane begins to creep over my shattered feelings, a thin wall between my emotions and reality. He grabs my hand, halting its progress.

“But I will never give you an ultimatum like that,” he says. I hear the promise in his voice. Looking up at him, I see the oath in his eyes. “This is your ride, Maddie. You decide if it goes, how fast, and how far. I’m just along for the ride—and I’ll be okay wherever it stops.”

“Really?”

“Really.” He looks away from me, his eyes glistening. “I can be a selfish prick. I can be mean and violent and ruthless. Half of my DNA is written that way. But not all of it.” He swallows hard. “My mother was the most selfless person I’ve ever known. She couldn’t be mean if she tried—and she did try. She tried all kinds of things against my father, but she could never beat him at his own game. She just didn’t have it in her. She was a different kind of strong—a giving and understanding and genuine kind. She was the best kind of person—and he’s the worst kind.”

There’s a determination, a strength in his face I’ve never seen before. “I have a choice, Maddie. And I’m choosing her selflessness and his ruthlessness and I’m going to use them better than either of my parents ever could.”

He takes my hand in his and holds it for a long moment before he speaks again. “I don’t know if exposing Julian for who he is without a plan in place to keep you safe is the right move. But if you feel it’s what you need to do, I’ll back you up one hundred percent. I’ll always be here—to help you, to protect you—whatever you need. I’m on your side, Madison. Always and forever.”

And this is how I come to see what everyone else has been seeing all along; that Rhue is mine and I am his, no matter what labels we stick on it. My sworn enemy, my rival, my friend, my lover; no matter how this ends, we’ll end it together.

Chapter 40

Rhue

Madison hasn’t given me an answer yet, but I think I know her well enough to know where this is going. I wasn’t lying when I said I’d back her up one hundred percent; at the same time, though, my dad’s warning keeps ringing in my ears. That if news of people poking around in his history gets back to the press, it’s Laura’s career that will suffer. I can’t blindside her like that—but I can’t back down, either.

Which is why, at three o’clock on a Wednesday afternoon, Laura and I are having lunch at my apartment in Ithaca. Steve has decided to be a reasonable human being for once, and has taken himself out to a steak house so she and I can have a conversation in peace. I’ve just finished telling her what Madison told me, and I’m watching her face as she works through her thoughts—and her food.

She looks thoughtful—but she doesn’t look worried, which worries me.

“I’m afraid you aren’t seeing how serious this could be for your future, Laura.”

She quirks a funny little smile at me. “Oh, my dear sweet brother,” she says patronizingly. “My sweet, naïve summer child.”

“Why are you smiling?” I demand, pricking with offense at her words and tone when I’m just trying to do what’s best for her.

She gives me a pitying look and sighs. “Rhue, Rhue, Rhue. Dad won’t be the first guy to have accusations thrown against him. If we’re lucky—very lucky—exposure like this might slow him down.” She shrugs and returns her attention to her food. “Either way, it won’t affect me. I’m not planning on keeping this last name any longer than I have to. The only thing I could possibly due to tarnish my reputation would be to publicly and proudly defend him for doing the things he did—which is not a thing I will ever, ever do.”

“Come on—you aren’t saying you think people are still going to vote for him after Madison tells all. She read the diary for Christ’s sake, she knows how many women he attacked—she can name names! Dates! Circumstances!”

“What evidence do you have that he raped Madison?” Laura asks after a hard, long minute.

I stare at her, fighting with my temper. Laura knows as well as I do what happened, what kind of game is she playing? She fixes me with a sad, serious look though, so I force my brain to engage.

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