Page 70 of Love is Fake

Twenty

The kind of luck only I have makes a reappearance on our way to Madison Square Garden. We don’t just hit traffic, we hit the kind of epic tail-back only possible in New York.

My knee bounces up and down nervously in the passenger seat, looking at the endless stream of taillights ahead of us.

“Can’t you just, drive over them or something?” I ask Kai, motioning towards the smaller cars in front of the giant truck of his we’re sitting in, stationary.

“Not unless you want me to get arrested before we get to the game,” Kai responds, blandly. “Don’t worry about it, Iz. Nox isn’t going anywhere,” he says with a confidence I don’t share.

By the time we make it there, the game is almost over; the Pelicans are winning 5 – 2 and my eyes scan the ice until I find Lennox. He’s not hard to spot, he’s in the middle of the action, looking the absolute pro that he is.

My professional therapist’s eye goes to his knee and I smile as I notice how he skates on it as if he’s never had an injury. He gets around three defenders, dropping them like stones and then goes in for the kill, ramming the puck home into the goal, lifting his arms and celebrating with the other players. He looksbeautiful and brutal at the same time and I feel so damn proud of him I could burst.

There are only a few more seconds on the clock and I whoop with the rest of the Pelicans crowd, shouting Lennox’s number and in that moment it’s as if he’s heard me. He lifts his head and looks straight at me and I smile, a little shyly, waving at him. I see the surprise on his face give way to a wide grin, which sets the butterflies off in my stomach.

It’s in that moment – when he’s distracted by me – that he’s cross-checked by a member of the opposition. He knocks Lennox at full speed, his stick pushed up against Lennox’s face, forcing him to the ground, head first.

It’s such a blatant foul, there’s no way it wasn’t deliberate. Lennox is the best player on the team and the opposition must have planned to take him out of the game as some kind of revenge for being beat so resoundingly. It’s a dick move, but that doesn’t mean it’s not effective.

All these thoughts go through my head in the seconds it takes Lennox to fall to the ground, his helmet bouncing off the ice so hard it echoes through the rink.

The crowd erupts in boos and the other player gets shoved away by Lennox’s team-mates, but the damage is already done.

“Oh my God!” I stare at Lennox’s prone body on the ice, willing him to get up and just shake it off. But I know that fall isn’t something you just shake off. My entire body goes as cold as the ice Lennox is laying on when the medics rush in and, still, he doesn’t respond.

Get up, get up, I will silently.

“Nox!” I shout his name, already out of my seat and running to the opening I’ve spied in the glass.

My sneakers slip on the ice, but I don’t care, all I care about is getting to Nox who is now surrounded by medics. One of themturns around to me and motions for security to get me the hell out of there.

“Miss, you can’t be here.”

He must think I’m some kind of crazed fan. He’s half-right as I’m out of my mind with worry.

“Let me see him, please.” My eyes are focused on Lennox’s chest, relieved when I see it rising and falling. Whatever’s happened, he’s alive. That manages to calm me at least a notch down.

“Give her some room, she’s his personal physician.” Kai lies very well from behind me and one of the medics makes space for me next to Lennox’s head as they continue to assess him.

“Nox? Nox, can you hear me?” Pulling his glove off, I take hold of his hand and squeeze it gently, carefully flipping the visor up on his helmet so I can see his face better. “It’s Izzy,” I tell him. “I’m here.”

“Have you checked his pupils?” I ask anyone who’ll listen, my voice panicked.

“He’s not responsive. We need to get him off the ice.” They’re talking to each other, but not to me. I don’t care. All I care about is making sure Lennox is alright.

I lean in to talk to him as the medics rush around us. “I saw the interview, Nox,” I tell him quietly. “I wish you’d told me everything from the start. I wish I hadn’t been so quick to think the worst and I’m sorry for that.” I know it’s stupid talking to someone when they’re out cold, but I’m praying some part of him can hear me.

“I wish I hadn’t been waiting for something bad to happen the entire time we were together because I didn’t think I deserved to be with someone like you. I didn’t think I was allowed to be that happyandget the happy ending. I spent so much time thinking about what would happen when thingsinevitably ran their course, I didn’t stop to think what would happen if things went right.”

Tears squeeze out of my eyes and spill over my cheeks. Seeing him like this and having no idea how badly he’s injured is tearing me apart.

“Damn you, Nox, damn you, for breaking my heart.” I whisper hoarsely at him. “And damn you for not being awake for me to tell you that I love you.”

I’m vaguely aware of a stretcher being brought over. I step back so Lennox can be moved onto it, his head braced, but I pause when I feel his hand tighten around mine.

I look down, telling myself not to get too excited, that it’s just a reflex action.

“Nox?” I whisper, squeezing his hand back and stepping forward again to speak into his ear. “Can you hear me?”

---