Page 23 of Bittersweet

“Isn’t it wonderful?” Mom grins, her eyes alight. “This could be what you’ve been looking for! The answer to all of yourproblems.”

“What app is this?” Iask.

A notification announcement comes through at the top of the screen. Dad presses something on his phone and the screen changes to black, my photo and the photo of a guy in a polo shirt with graying hair in two white-bordered circles, accompanied by the wordsIt’s amatch.

Ohno.

Oh, no, no, no, no,no.

Tinder.

My parents have signed me up forTinder.

I’ve hit an all-timelow.

“Mom, Dad . . .” I shake my head. I have no words to express myhorror.

“It’s this new dating app,” Mom says, excitement sparking in her eyes. “You can match with people who live locally to you,and—”

“Tinder is not just a dating app,” I rush out, standing. How is this even happening tome?

“Then what do you call this?” Dad points to the screen. “It says ‘it’s a match.’ And doesn’t this Kevin look like a nice young chap? Let’s see here . . .” A few more clicks and Kevin’s profile comes up, along with a selection of other photos featuring a man who has to be at least ten years my senior. “Says he likes golfing. Works in the military. And that he’s looking for the right girl to settle down with.” He looks up at me and winks. “Seems like a winner tome.”

I bury my face in my hands. How do I tell my parents that Tinder isn’t just for dating, and that it can often be used for . . . well, finding someone to have casual sexwith?

Dad continues to sprout the merits of Kevin by providing a running analysis of his hobbies based on the photos he’s uploaded of himself. I reach for the bowl of nuts again, stuffing as many inside my mouth as Ican.

Wait.

Diet.

I’ve hit rock-bottom. My old high school friend is marrying an Olympic skier. I can’t stick to a simple diet plan to save my life. And my parents are signing me up for dating apps because I am so incredibly pathetic when it comes to finding and keeping aboyfriend.

But you’renot.

The voice is quiet at first, but it’s insistent. Jeremy cheated on me, but Elio—I’m sure there’s something there. I could swearit.

Dad stops on one particular photo, squinting. “Hang on! That fellow looks an awful lot like Marjorie’s husband down thestreet.”

I need to listen to Emma’s advice. I need to talk to Elio. Get it all out in the open. What I feel when I’m with him—that’s something real. And I’d be a fool not to chase after it and grab it with bothhands.

“I have to go.” I walk to the couch opposite and kiss Mom on eithercheek.

“But we’re just getting started.” She gestures to the screen, her brows furrowed. “If Kevin isn’t a success, there are plenty more men on there. I’ve gone through and preselected a few I thought soundedappropriate.”

“Mom, Tinder isn’t always used by people looking for the kind of relationship I am.” I take her hands and look into her eyes, imploring her to see the truth I can’t just blurt out in front of myparents.

“What sort of a relationship are they looking for?” She stops suddenly, her eyes round. She lowers her voice. “Is it for . . . thegays?”

“Mom!” How could she even say that? “Tinder is for people of any sexual orientation, but that’s a key part of it. It’s often used by people looking forsex.”

“You don’t want to have sex?” She arches one thin brow at me, skewering me with a skepticallook.

“Not sex for the sake of sex. I want real sex. Sex that means something.” I think of Elio again—his laugh, his passion for old Russian literature, his favorite Disney movie. How he listens. How he cares. “I’ve sold myself short ever since Jeremy left me, but now, things are going to change. I’m going after what I want, and I’m going to grab it with bothhands.”

“I’m sure that’s Marjorie’s husband! But isn’t his name Mark?” Dad waves his hand at the screen again, outrage on his face. “Why would Mark set up an account under the name ofRichie?”

“Perhaps he’s got a twin brother, Dad.” I kiss my father’s cheek. Let him keep the dream of his wholesome little neighborhood life alive for a moment or twolonger.

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