“Okay, cowboy—enough. Lift your hips forme.”
“You like to be the dominant one, eh?” He smirks. “Well, normally I like to be in charge, too, but I may just make an exception foryou.”
“Could you just for a second be serious,please?”
“Iwas.”
I grab the waistband of his jeans and tug. And I am not at all prepared for what I find. He’s completely naked under his jeans—there are no boxers, no briefs, no boxer briefs, just flesh. Hard, pink—did I say hard?—flesh. I’m so shocked that I forget he’s wearing shoes, and I’m not prepared for the resistance I meet. I go ass over feet and land on the other side of the coffee table. Covering my eyes, I pop up and attempt to make my way toward him as if nothing happened, but I need to see where I’m going so I glance through my splayed fingers at Van—who happens to be in hysterics. “You’re naked! Why are younaked?”
“Ow! Because I never wear underwear, unless it’s on theice.”
“And you failed to tell me this justnow?”
“It was anaccident.”
“Sure itwas.”
“Honey, I’m home,” Eli says, as he walks in the room. I want to smack them both upside the head. “Jesus Christ. You two didn’t waste anytime.”
“It isn’t like that. He tricked me.” Blood rushes through my veins, clawing up my neck and coloring myface.
“Hey, I wasn’t the one who poured water in my lap. If anyone should be sorry here, it’s you,country.”
“Me, say sorry? You were the one who distractedme.”
“Do I need to separate you two?” Eli asks, taking cartons of what look like Chinese takeout from the brown paper bag and setting it on the table one box at atime.
I turn my back to Van. “Can you put some pants onplease?”
“Well, I would, but as I explained, I need help withthat.”
“Then it’s a good thing that Eli’s herenow.”
Eli shakes his head. “Oh no. Eli is not going anywhere near that shit. Cover up your little red rocket, dude. I’m losing myappetite.”
“Hey, my rocket is notlittle.”
He’s right about that. I’m not an expert or anything, but that looks . . . yeah, he is definitely not little. “Stella, we talked about you nursing him back to health,right?”
“I didn’t realize it would mean I’d have to see . . .” I throw my hand out and point to Van’s junk. “That. I’m not taking off yourpants.”
“Technically, you already took off mypants.”
“Well, then I’m not changing them,” Isay.
“Please, Stella? Come on. It doesn’tbite.”
“You’re such an asshole,” I say, but I trudge up the stairs and enter his room, rifling through his drawers to find a pair of sweatpants. I pull a pair of boxer briefs, and some sweats from his drawers, and stomp down the stairs. He and Eli laugh and share a look. I have half a mind to throw the clothing at him and run away, but I will not let them know how rattled I am by this. I’ll just pay him back some other time. I toss a cushion toward him. “At least cover that thing up if I’m forced to go nearit.”
“Hey, he’s offended by that. You can’t call it athing.”
“It’s true; you can’t,” Elisays.
“Fine,” I snap. “Cover up your penis,please.”
“Oh, hell no. You can’t call it thateither.”
“Whynot?”