Page 51 of Revelry

Oh, sweet mother of god, I knew those calloused hands would feel incredible on my body.

“I want you, Ali,” Cooper says, as he lays kisses down my neck, licking and sucking. I close my eyes, unable to believe I’m about to put an end to this feeling.

“You’re drunk,” I whisper. Right now it feels as if he’s not the only one. I’m drunk on his touch.

“I am drunk.” He nods. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want you.”

The elevator dings, announcing our arrival. The doors open and the people on the other side stand there, waiting for us to vacate. I take Cooper’s hand and lead him out of the lift and through the lobby. We get to the hotel doors and we’re instantly bombarded with screaming fans and flashing cameras. Cooper ducks his head, shielding his face against the flashing cameras. We’re pushed and pulled in every direction, and then the bodies of women trying to get closer to him prise our hands apart.

“Ali,” he shouts, but I can’t see him through the throng of fangirls. I’m jostled about a bit more and I turn back, trying to get away from the press of bodies, when he pushes through the crowd, taking my hand and hurries us back inside the hotel.

“What are you doing? I ask.

“Getting us a room.”

I wait until we’re a little further inside the lobby when I grab hold of his arm. “We have a room. Two of them, actually. Back at another hotel.”

“And there’s a legion of fangirls between us and it.” He’s shaking, his face pale, and his hand is clammy in mine. “Have you ever just wanted to be someone else, Ali?”

“Yeah, all the time.”

He studies me, as if he’s not happy with that answer. “And what did you do when you felt that way?”

“I took a walk to clear my head, or I went and drank so much that I could pretend I was someone else.”

“Help me be someone else.”

“What do you mean? You can’t be anyone else. You’re Cooper Ryan.”

“Help me be the guy you talk to night after night on the tour bus, when everyone else is asleep. Tonight I just wanna be that guy. I want to feel normal, just this once.”

“Okay, let’s get you a room. We can talk out what the hell just happened when you’re not about to pass out from exhaustion and too much booze.”

Twenty minutes later, I pull off his boots as he lies face up on the bed where he’d fallen. I’m not doing anything crazy like removing his pants or anything. That would be dumb, because he’s more Adonis than I can handle fully clothed—strip him bare and I’d never want to leave this room again. I lean over to set a glass of water down on the nightstand and Coop reaches out, grasping a strand of my long hair between his fingers. “You should run, Ali-Cat. Run away before I decide to keep you forever.”

My gut knots, and desire jackknifes through me. I pull away, chanting over and over in my head,He’s drunk. Do not sleep with him. “Okay. Why don’t you try sleeping it off, and by the morning you’ll remember why this is such a terrible idea?”

“I want you, Holly,” he slurs. I freeze, snap my eyes shut and swallow hard.

“Right.” I clear my throat, trying to mask the way my voice breaks, or the sharp, ragged inhalations I’m taking to keep from crying. “If you have everything you need, then, I’ll just go.”

“I don’t have you,” he murmurs, eyes still tightly closed. “I’m so fucking lost without you, Red.”

I can’t listen to this anymore. Even if every syllable didn’t cut me to the bone, the fact remains he’s telling me this in confidence because he’s drunk, and he’s telling me because he thinks I’m her. Somehow it hurts far more than finding my boyfriend of five years with his face buried in another woman’s pussy.

“I have to go.”

“No!” he shouts as I slip out into the hallway. I close the door and lean heavily against it. I bang the back of my skull against the wood and slide down to the floor.I am so fucking stupid.

Eventually I pick myself up from the floor and take the elevator down to the lobby. I walk through the hotel and I exit out onto the street. The fangirls are still there, but they don’t notice me without Cooper Ryan’s hand threaded through mine so I walk right by them.

The strip spreads out in front of me and I follow the lights until I reach our hotel some thirty minutes later. My feet hurt. My heart hurts, and my head definitely hurts from all the thoughts pinging around in there.

I pass one of the many hotel bars and decide to stop for a drink. I could just go to my room, but I’d rather not be alone with my thoughts right now. Better that I share my misery around, even if I am sitting alone. At least it won’t be as bad as that unnerving silence up in my room. I order a Mac and Jack’s, preparing to find some quiet dark corner where I can skulk and make up stupid stories in my head about how pathetic the lives of the people around me are when I smack head-first into a heavily muscled torso. I follow the line of black T-shirt up to the gauges and the neck tattoos and finally up to Levi’s face. I frown.

He smiles. “Whatcha doing here on your own, Red?”

“Well, I was avoiding the lepers, but it looks like that’s done with now.”

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