Page 85 of Revelry

“We’re already in too deep.” Coop whispers, pushing the hair back from my face. He kisses the tip of my nose, and when he pulls away, I think his gaze must be a mirror of my own. There’s a war raging inside him.Pain, lust, anger, sadness. All fighting to the surface. Demanding to be felt. I know because I feel it too. “You can’t save any of us right now.”

He runs his fingertips over my face and down my neck, my arm, and across to my breast, circling my nipple. I shrink back because it tickles, and Coop gives me his trademark smirk. Levi gently grasps my shoulder and rolls me over so I’m lying on my back. They both run their hands over me in lazy arcs, sweeping fingertips over my breasts, belly and upper thigh. In all my time with Brad, he’d never comforted me like this. How is it that two men, whom I’ve known for all of a few weeks, have shown me more love, companionship and more affection than one man who I’d given my heart to for five years?

We lie there, each of us silent, weighed down by our thoughts, buried beneath the weight of all the things we’re not supposed to feel. All the things we promised ourselves we wouldn’t feel.

Despite the ache in my chest I smile as their stroking becomes lighter, until they’re no longer moving and have instead both settled into sleep with their hands on my body, each laying claim to it the way they have my heart.

Isit at the window and stare out on the dark landscape around us as I quietly play a new riff over and over on my acoustic. My band mates are asleep, but Ali-Cat isn’t. She climbs out of her bunk and pads softly down the aisle in a Taint T-shirt and a pair of cotton panties. She closes the curtain, shutting us in our little kitchenette, and quietly makes us both a coffee, grabbing a bottle of whiskey and pouring a decent helping into each cup. She slides the coffee across the table to me as she slips into the booth. I smirk—because I know she loves that shit—and I continue to play, watching her as she brings her cup to her lips and swallows down a mouthful. Her throat bobs as she swallows, and I try not to imagine her swallowing back my come as I lead into the familiar licks of “All I Want is You”, her favourite.

“Sing it to me.”

I shake my head. “I’ll wake everyone up.”

“If you don’t, I’ll scream and throw the kind of tantrum worthy of one of your spoilt fangirls.”

“And here I thought you were one of my spoilt fangirls?”

“I’m hardly spoiled,” she teases.

“You don’t call multiple orgasms spoiled?”

She grins. “Okay maybe, I am spoiled, but I’m definitely not a fangirl.”

“Jeez, tough crowd.”

She laughs. “Shut up and sing, loser.”

I do. She closes her eyes as I quietly sing the lyrics to one of the saddest and most beautiful songs ever written.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” I say, and her eyes snap open as she frowns.

“I don’t remember those being the lyrics, Coop,” Ali complains. She grins though, and I know my words have affected her. I don’t know much about Ali’s past, but I know that even if that douchebag ex of hers told her every second of every day that she was beautiful, it wasn’t enough. I hate that his cheating so obviously made her doubt how fucking incredible she is. “Now you have to start all over again.”

“How come you don’t like my songs the way you do other bands’?”

“Um, I don’t know, Coop.” She rolls her eyes, “Maybe because all your songs are about your ex?”

“You need me to write you a song, Ali?”

“No. I don’t need anything but your mouth on mine.”

“And my cock in your tight hot cunt,” I say.

“And that,” she agrees. I set the guitar aside and pull her closer, so she’s leaning into my side.

“I could easily lose my mind with you, Ali.”

“I think I already have lost mine.” I know she’s referring to the shit that still hasn’t died down over our video. The record company has hired a team of lawyers, hell bent on having every last trace of it removed from the Internet, but they get one taken down and it pops up on another site. That Gainy fucker is suing Levi, so once we’re done with these next three shows we’re hopping a flight back to Nashville for a court hearing.

“I think I lost mine the second I met you, Ali-Cat.”

“Really? I kinda hated you the second I met you.” She pulls back so she can look at my face.

“No, you didn’t.”

“Oh, yes I did. You were this close to getting junk punched, mister.”

“Nice.” I sip my coffee, relishing the warmth and the smooth burn of whiskey as it slides down my throat.

---