Page 2 of Closer

“Yeah, Poland kinda sucks when it comes to vodka. Who knew?”

“So, what are you gonna do, man?”

“What else can I do?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Is she gonna join the tour again?”

Oh fuck. I hadn’t thought of that. I hadn’t thought much beyond watching Cooper Ryan, rock god extraordinaire, come off stage looking like a fucking broken little kid. I mean, we’ve both been complete pussies since she left, but Ryan hasn’t so much as uttered a word to a woman. He hasn’t even looked in another woman’s direction. I’ve fucked plenty, hoping to get her outta my head, outta my heart, but so far, it hasn’t worked. I’m just going through the motions, and every girl who’s dropped to her knees in front of me or taken a ride on the monster cock since has been filler. They couldn’t hold a fucking candle to Red. No one ever could.

I knew it was the same for Coop, and if I thought she wanted me even half as much as she wanted him, I’d be on the first flight back to Sydney. She’d never said out loud that she didn’t love me, but her body told me every time we were together. Every time he touched her, in all the ways I wasn’t allowed. And if that wasn’t proof enough, her words outside the tour bus when she’d said goodbye spoke volumes. She wanted Cooper, but she wouldn’t be the one to tear our band apart, and that stubborn prick was too dumb to see she needed one of us to step down. I love her, and it’s only because I love her that I’ve decided to let her go. I can’t make her happy the way he can, and like I said before, there’s no sense in us all being miserable.

“I don’t know,” I say in response to Ash’s question. “I don’t know a goddam thing.”

“That's altruistic of you, Levi. I’m proud of you.”

“Yeah, yeah, who wants to fuck one pussy forever though, right? Especially when I can have a girl in every motherfucking country?”

“Yeah,” Ash says, and grabs the bottle from me, taking another huge swig.

“We should go get fucked up and find some chicks to bang,” I state loudly. “Where the fuck is the geriatric giant anyway?”

“Zed? I don’t know, he said something about needing to score. He’s taking Leif’s betrayal pretty hard, and not just because he hurt Ali. I think if he doesn’t get a hit soon, Zed’s gonna have the DTs and that’s not going to help us as a band.”

“When did things get so fucked up?”

“When Red joined the tour,” Ash says without missing a beat. I glare at him. The douchebag shrugs. “I told you from the start, man, chicks on a tour bus are like the fucking kiss of death. You may as well invite Yoko Ono for dinner.”

“Deb tours with us.”

He screws up his nose as if just the mention of her name is unsavoury. “Deb is family. She’s not someone you want to bone.”

“I don't know, I’d probably try it, just once.” I absentmindedly slide my thumb over the screen on my iPhone. “It’d be like fucking a black widow. You’d never know when she was going to try and off you, but the anticipation might be fun.”

“Ryan already wants to kill you, don’t add Zed to that list, Quinn.”

“He tap that already or what?”

“I don’t know.” Ash shrugs. “But he’s gotta be fucking careful with the way he keeps looking at her. Coop already wants to beat down your arse. Zed’s gonna be next on Ryan’s list if he doesn’t keep his eyes and hands off Deb.

“Do you think she’d really go for him?” I squint at my best friend, seeing double through my vodka glasses. “I mean, meth monkey chic isn’t really her type.”

“Oh, she’d go for him.” He grins. I throw my phone at him. “Ow.”

“Out with it.”

“I walked in on them once.”

“What?”

He tosses my phone back, deliberately aiming for my nuts.

“That hurt, cunt rag.”

Ash chuckles. “They weren’t fucking, just ... I don’t know. There was definitely a vibe. He had his back to me, but I swear to God when he turned around, it was like he’d just been strung up by the balls and gutted from navel to nads. He didn’t even say a word. He just got up and walked back to his bunk. Deb had a few choice words, though.”

“When does she fucking not? I’d try gagging her with my cock if I didn’t think she’d bite it off,” I say, growing restless. I wanna hit something or fuck some shit up ... or just fuck the shit out of someone. “Seriously, man, let’s just go and find some pussy.”

“Nah, I’m not really in the mood.”