If I thought a wholeday at Disneyland was tiring, a whole day at Disneyland with cancer is truly insane. Despite the overcast weather, lathering ourselves in sunscreen, staying out of the midday sun, and replacing our Mickey Mouse ears with giant, floppy hats, we were both burned to a crisp, but we were happy.
We spent a lot of time between rides sitting on benches, and hopping on the Disneyland Railroad to get from one point of the park to another. We even spent a bit of time on Tom Sawyer’s Island so we could sit in the shade, away from the bustle of the crowds. Neither of us were capable of going on ride after ride, but it didn’t matter because that’s the magic of the park.
Styx wraps his arms around me from behind, resting his chin on my head. He smells like cotton candy, and boy sweat, and it’s heaven. He squeezes me tightly as Peter Pan and Tinkerbell are projected onto the castle wall and I laugh.
“Maybe I should start calling you Tink from now on, my little angry pixie.”
“First of all, Tink is a fairy, dumbass. Not a pixie,” I shout to be heard over the swell of music and cheers from the crowd. “And secondly, if you call me Tink—cancer or not—Iwillpunch you in the face.”
His deep chuckle resonates through his chest and into me. Despite the violence I just threatened, I smile and lean back in his arms to watch the show. It’s no wonder they call it the happiest place on Earth. Disney has a way of making you forget that you’re fighting for your life.
***
After the park closes, we check into a nearby hotel. We can’t actually afford to stay at Disney, and Styx’s funds are running low. We need to conserve what little cash we have.
This room looks clean at least. Neither one of us have discussed how crazy it was to stay in that cheap, crappy hotel in Pismo, or that we could have picked up an infection from such an unclean environment. I don’t know if Styx thought about it or not. I guess I got so lost in the moment I didn’t think about it at all, until now.
“You wanna shower first, or should I?” he asks, kicking off his Cons and slumping on the bed.
“Why don’t we shower together?”
That crooked smile plays across his lips again. “Why the hell didn’t I think of that?”
“Because you’re not as smart as me,” I say, pulling my dress over my head and tossing it on the bed beside him. I turn and walk toward the bathroom, removing my bra and panties and discarding them to the floor. Styx is on his feet in a second, wrapping me in his arms and kissing my shoulder and neck as we awkwardly moon-boot shuffle our way to the bathroom.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
ALASKA
Iwake in the middleof the night.
I’m slick with sweat, my mouth is dry, and my eye throbs. Searing pain shoots through me and I pull away from Styx and sit up. The aching in my head is unlike anything I’ve felt before. I’d get my pills if I could move, but everything hurts. My whole body screams, and I’m both burning up from the inside and ice-cold all at once.
I open my mouth, but no words come out, just an ungodly scream as Styx leans over and switches on the light. The brightness pierces my vision, rendering me blind. My stomach twists, revolts, and I puke before everything fades to black.