***
By dinnertime, theystill don’t have a room for me, so it’s another night in the ICU. I’m not complaining though. Styx is sleeping soundly, but I’ve been in his room, holding his hand for the last two hours as I doze in the lounger by his bed.
His warm fingers squeeze mine, and I glance at Styx. There’s a goofy, sleepy grin stretched across his face.
“Hey,” he murmurs in a husky tone.
A lump forms in my throat and tears prick my eyes.
“Hi.” I smile and wipe away the saltwater before it can fall from my lashes. “You scared the shit outta me.”
“Consider it payback for LA.” He chuckles and shifts on the mattress. “We gotta stop doing that to one another.”
“Yeah, we really do.”
“Come here,” Styx says, giving my arm a weak tug.
“Where?”
“Come lie with me.”
I laugh and shake my head. “I can’t. I’ll squash your lines.”
“They’re plastic; they’ll bounce back.” His face turns serious, and the desperation in his eyes claws at my resolve. “Get your sweet ass up here, Stones. I wanna hold my girl.”
It takes a little maneuvering with his central line and heart-rate monitor, and my IV, but eventually I settle in against his side and he wraps his good arm around me, holding me as tightly as his weak body will allow.
I wish we had the power to make time wait for us.
I’d make it wait forever, right here. I’d use up all of the seconds it’s stolen from me, from us, and the lifetime it’s going to steal from our future. If I had the ability, I’d hit pause right here, and I’d never let him go.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
STYX
Three days later, Iwalk between my room and Stones’ in the UCSF Benioff Children's Hospital. It sucks that we’re at different ends of the ward, but it could be worse. At least neither one of us is in the ICU.