My girl.
I put on the mask and shake my can, laughing as the paint forms a bright pink arc on the wall.
I’m exhausted by the time I sit back in my wheelchair, out of breath, and so fucking tired I can barely keep my eyes open, but I do. I watch the people around us create art, and write messages on the walls to a girl who’s gone, but not forgotten.
I glance at my handiwork, so juvenile in comparison to her smooth, even strokes.
Forever.
That’s what I wrote. That’s how long I’ll love her. Even after I’m worm food in the ground.
Forever.
EPILOGUE
STYX
Carissa wheels me backinto my hospital room and another nurse helps lift me on the bed. It’s the same room Alaska died in.
I’ve had nightmares ever since they brought me in here, always of the same thing. That fucking castle again, lit up like it was during the fireworks. Only there’s no one there. No park-goers, no staff, no parade—just me and a big fucking castle that I can never reach, no matter how fast I run.
I close my eyes and drift. The shrill beeping of my heart-rate monitor pierces the quiet room. White noise fills my head. Fireworks go off behind my eyelids and I open them to see the sky above lit with dazzling colors: blue, violet, green, pink, and silver. The night glitters with them.
Hello, Disneyland ...again.
Fuck. It’s the same nightmare. I don’t wake up.
A soft feminine giggle wraps itself around me. “Open your eyes, loner boy.”
I squeeze them tightly shut, because this bad dream just became infinitely worse.I can’t see her. I can’t see her and walk away. I can’t go back to a world without her.
Wake up. Wake up, fucker!
When I open my eyes, it’s not to a hospital room. It’s to Alaska, and she’s standing right in front of me.
I inhale sharply. “Stones.”