Page 43 of Viking

“Sure, the assholes do. I guess. Why all this talk of babies? You’re just a baby yourself?”

“Viking ... doesn’t want me,” I whisper, fighting back tears.

Her high-pitched cackle hurts my ears and irritates me. “Honey, that man is crazy about you. Though he’s trying hard not to be.”

I search her gaze, wondering if my friend really has it in her heart to be cruel enough to lie to me.

She squeezes my hand. “And you don’t need to produce offspring to make him that way. Trust me, you never would have survived holding him at knifepoint if he wasn’t totally smitten. He’s killed for a lot less.”

I swallow hard and meet her gaze. “Last night, when I tried to kiss him, he turned me away. And today he can barely look at me.”

“Honey, that’s got more to do with your age than him not wanting you. Every red-blooded man in here has thought about fucking you since you walked in, and probably some of the women too. Viking wants you, but right now his conscious won’t let him. Not after what happened to Gypsy.”

“Who is Gypsy?”

A ruckus from across the room causes us both to turn our heads. The great wooden doors of the Seven Knights’ church are now open as all the men file out. Through the crowd, Blue walks toward us and Calamity Jane jumps up from her seat beside me and rushes to greet him. I search the rest of the crowd and spot Viking moving toward the room we’re staying in. Out of nowhere, a blonde in skimpy clothing approaches him and the two disappear around the corner. I follow, but I’m stopped by Niko. I met the man briefly when we arrived yesterday, but I never said a word.

“Where you headed, little mermaid?”

I swallow hard and try to glance over his shoulder, but he’s big. Almost as big as Viking.

“Still not talking, huh?”

“Leave the poor girl alone, Niko.” A woman drapes her arm around his side and snuggles in. “I’m Meraki. I heard you don’t say much.”

I shake my head.

She gives me a soft smile. “That’s okay. I never used to either.”

Niko arches his brows and laughs. “Are we talking about the same woman?”

She slaps his chest and rolls her eyes. “You want me to walk with you up to your room?”

I shake my head, but not because I don’t want the company. I’m not a skilled conversationalist. We weren’t encouraged to speak in the Sisterhood. In fact, they rarely permitted it even when spoken to. The only sounds the Brothers approved of were our screams as they took our bodies during the celestial rites. Besides, I still can’t say a lot in front of anyone but Viking and Calamity.

“Okay, well, you and I have plenty of time to catch up while you’re here.”

I offer a smile, because it’s all I really have to give, and I shrink away toward the bedrooms. As I round the corner, low moans cause me to stop in my tracks. I stay perfectly still, afraid to interrupt and paralyzed by the slurping sounds I recognize from the ceremonial rites. But these are not screams of horror or muffled cries of pain, like those of the Sisters. It’s pleasure. Whatever is being done to this woman, she’s not afraid, is enjoying it even. Hugging tightly to the wall, I dare a peek. Jealousy hums through my veins, pure hatred and horror at seeing the woman on her knees in front of Viking.My Viking.Safe.Mine. Only, his eyes are on her, his fists wrapped in her blonde hair, his shirt pushed up to expose tattooed muscles, his jeans unfastened and his penis in her mouth.

I inhale, a short, sharp gasp, quiet enough to go unnoticed and drowned out by her slurping. But Viking’s eyes open, his gaze darts to mine. I’m frozen, unable to move, struggling with my hate for him in this moment and the ache between my legs.

My panties are soaked, the way they were last night when I’d straddled his hips and rubbed against him. But my heart is broken too, because he pushed me away when I tried to kiss him. He left the room and didn’t come back, and I’d cried into my pillow, clamping my hand between my legs to ward away the ache in my womb, and praying for the Mother to help me. To help Vikingseeme.

He grips the woman’s hair tighter, his eyes narrowing, and a moan escapes his lips.

“Yeah, that’s it, sugar. Fuck my cock with your little whore mouth,” he says gruffly, but his eyes never leave mine, not even for a second. Viking pumps his hips wildly to meet her orifice, and she makes strange sounds as if he’s choking her with his penis, the way the brothers sometimes forced us to. A soft whimper leaves my throat and I clamp my hand over my mouth as tears spill down my cheeks. “Fuck, you feel so fucking good.”

My heart cracks in two, a sob tears free of my chest and the woman on the floor turns, but Viking yanks hard on her hair and pulls her closer as his whole body jerks with release. He watches me as he rides out his pleasure, his gaze never leaving mine. I flee, down the hall and up the stairs, toward the room we’re supposed to share, but I don’t know how I can even look at him again after this.

“Fuck!” he roars from behind me, and the sound of furniture crashing into the wall has me freezing with terror. His heavy footsteps thud closer, and all I can do is hang my head and tremble as he grabs my arm and yanks me into the quiet of our room. He closes the door behind me and shoves me hard up against it. “What the fuck do you want from me, Arie? What the fuck am I supposed to do with you, huh?”

I keep my head bowed. I shrink into myself, disappearing into that quiet, empty blackness I visit during the ceremonial rites. I don’t look at him. I can’t. I don’t see anything but the void.

“No!” He shakes me, the back of my head hitting the door with each movement. It doesn’t hurt. I don’t feel anything beyond the pain in my heart. “You don’t get to fucking disappear on me. Not now. Speak. I know you can. You tell me what the fuck you were doing watching me.”

I open my mouth, but no words come out. Nothing comes out.

“Talk to me right now, Arie.”

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