Page 41 of The Lilac River

I swallowed down the knot in my throat and half a glass of wine.

Then, for the first time in years, I let someone else into the story I’d locked away inside me.

Chapter 16

Hello - Adele

Nash

I’d hoped beer and shit-talking with my brothers would be enough to distract me.

Not a chance.

As much as I listened, as much as I talked, my eyes kept wandering to the booth across the bar. Lily sat there, wine glass in hand, head tilted back in laughter. She looked so damn beautiful it hurt to breathe. I’d be able to pick her out of a crowd by the way she braced her hand on her hip when she was starting to get riled. Some things about her hadn’t changed.

Her hair had been just past her shoulders when she left ten years ago. Now it flowed almost to her waist, gleaming like ribbons of silk in the low lights of the bar. I hadn’t noticed on Get To Know You Day because it was tied up, but tonight it was down, tumbling over her bare shoulders, loose and wild, just like the girl I used to love.

And damn me, but I still did.

It took everything I had not to storm across the room and bury my face in it, just to check if she still smelled like coconut shampoo and wildflowers.

The more beer I drank, the worse the ache got.

She and Cassidy, her new teacher friend, had downed two bottles of wine, laughing like they didn’t have a care in the world. Lily didn’t look one damn bit affected by me being there. Like she hadn’t shattered us. Like she hadn’t shattered me.

And that burned. God, it burned.

"You gotta remember," Gunner said, picking up on my silence, "for a few years there, Lily was the only female we had after Mom died. She was like a sister to us."

"Yeah," Wilder agreed, picking at the label on his beer. "Sisters don’t just up and leave without a word, though."

"She gave a reason," I muttered. My voice felt like gravel. "Didn’t wanna be tied down," I continued. "Thought we were too serious, too young. At least, that’s what she wrote in her note to her mom."

I took a long pull on my beer, daring a glance toward her. She was leaning into Cassidy, hand tucked under her chin, a lazy, brilliant smile curving her lips. Her gold bangles slid down her arm as she pushed a piece of hair behind her ear, just another tiny gesture that wrecked me.

She still glowed. And I still crumbled.

Her laugh carried across the bar, warm and rich and full of ease. That sound had been my sanctuary once. Now it sliced straight through me like a Colorado windstorm, cold, clean, and merciless.

I shoved my beer onto the table and pushed to my feet.

"Bathroom," I growled.

"You okay?" Wilder asked, brow creasing.

"Yeah," I lied. "Just need the bathroom."

Splashing cold water on my face, I braced my palms against the sink, staring down at the scratched porcelain.

"Get a fucking grip," I muttered at my reflection.

But it was no use. That woman could wind me tighter than barbed wire and one look at her was enough to cut me wide open.

I had two choices: keep drinking until I was numb...or get the hell out of this bar before I made a colossal mistake.

I pushed out of the bathroom, head down, determined to make it back to the table without glancing her way.

And walked straight into her.

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