Page 66 of The Lilac River

All through the meal, I barely looked at her. My throat locked tight every time she shifted in her chair, every time her foot bumped the table leg, every time her voice softened to speak. Ididn’t trust myself. Didn’t trust what I’d do if I let myself see her clearly.

“By the way,” she said gently, her voice barely more than breath, “Shane came by while you were out.”

My head jerked up. The mention of the lavender farm manager clawed through the haze in my brain. “Yeah?”

“He said he was dropping off the farm takings. I’ve got them for you.”

She got up and went over to the island, picking up the small cloth pouch. I tried not to watch the swing of her hips as she walked back to her seat and slid it across the table. “He… he seemed really happy to see me.”

A laugh crept up my throat, unexpected. “You always were his favorite.”

“Only because I used to bribe him with my mom’s funnel cake,” she said, and smiled. A real smile. The kind that reached her eyes.

And just like that, I was wrecked.

That laugh, soft, unguarded, hit me harder than any punch I’d ever taken. It gutted me. Made me ache for everything we should’ve had. For the life that should’ve been ours. And in the same breath, it reminded me of what she took from me.

The air shifted. The smile fell from my face like a shutter slamming down.

I set my beer on the table with a dull thud, the bottle too heavy for my hand. My chest hollowed out, tension rising like a storm cloud.

“Why the hell did you leave, Lila?” The words cracked through the room like thunder. “Tell me. I need to hear it from you. The truth.”

Her fork clattered against her plate. Her shoulders went rigid. She stared at me, startled, stricken, like I’d yanked her backward in time.

“Nash…”

“Don’t just say my name,” I snapped. “Say something real. Don’t hide behind it.”

She opened her mouth, then closed it. Her fingers fumbled with her napkin like it might tether her to something solid.

“I told you,” she said quickly. “We were young. We were?—”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

The fire had already caught in my chest. I couldn’t stop now.

“Don’t lie to me, Lily. Not now. Not after you walked back into this house. Not after I trusted you with my daughter.”

Tears sprang to her eyes, and she didn’t try to blink them away. She didn’t flinch, either. She just sat there. Took it.

“You wrecked me,” I said, voice hoarse. “You shattered everything we had and didn’t even look back.”

"I’m sorry," she whispered, a single tear slipping down her cheek. "I never wanted to hurt you."

“You didn’t just hurt me.” I swallowed hard. “You gutted me. I couldn’t breathe for months. You were my whole damn life.”

She pressed a hand to her chest like she could keep herself from breaking open. “I missed you every single day, Nash.”

I scrubbed my hand down my face, my voice splintering. “You still smell the same. Like summer. Like the only place I ever felt at home.”

A sound tore from her; soft, raw. She covered her mouth, eyes wide and shimmering.

“I loved you,” she said, shaking. “I never stopped.”

I pushed back from the table. The legs of the chair scraped against the floor, loud and jarring. My chest heaved.

“You don’t get to say that,” I rasped. “You don’t get to tell me you loved me. Not after you left me to pick up the pieces alone.”

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