Page 62 of The Devil's Mercy

“I’m not—”

“Yes,” he insisted, “you are, because in no universe was anything that happened to you at that orphanage your fault. So you popped a boner? Big fucking deal. You were a horny teenager just discovering what you liked and didn’t like in the bedroom.Shetook advantage of that. She was an adult, and she chose to abuse her power and take advantage of that. Of you.”

A part of Cal had always hated himself for losing control in front of her that first time. Of giving her that opening. But…

Aodhan would tell him if he’d been the reason. The doctor never pulled punches, and Titus…Titus called him little monster. Titusknewabout him, about everything.

“It’s…not my fault?” he asked, softly. Pathetically. “Not even a little? I—”

“Not even a little,” Aodhan stated vehemently. “And while we’re on the subject, it’s not your fault for what happened to that kid either. Well—” he blew out a breath, “it’s your fault for hitting him with your car, but the asshole deserved it. I’m stillfurious he found a way to reverse the damage. He hasn’t suffered nearly long enough either.”

“When did Nero find out about you and Sister Grace?” Titus gently asked.

Calix licked his dry lips. “Locker room. He saw the marks she’d left, assumed she’d beaten me. She had, but he made a joke about it being more than that when he noticed the rope burns on my wrists. Said it must have been rough play in the bedroom gone wrong. Something about my reaction must have given me away, because he realized he’d hit the nail on the head. The next day, he was sharing photos of me he’d taken without my knowledge to the rest of the class. Telling them how I fucked my caretaker to soothe my mommy issues.”

Something had snapped in Cal that day. Before then, he’d liked pain, sure, but not delivering it. He’d sobbed like a baby after those two older kids had murdered the sylar in the woods. Cried himself to sleep, thinking about how Sister Grace had so carelessly tossed the body like it was nothing.

Calix had never wanted to harm anyone.

Until he did.

Until Nero Quinten was walking in front of his car, laughing on the phone, probably telling whoever was on the other end all about how Calix let Sister Grace ride his dick.

Let.

As if he’d let any of it happen.

As if he’d ever wanted it.

“He told the entire school I was a filthy pervert and then pretended like I didn’t exist. Like he was too good for me.” Calix shook his head. “He was never too good for me.”

“You’re too good for him, Azi.” Titus pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. “Far too good. He should never have been allowed to breathe the same air as you, let alone get close enough to take photos of your bare skin.”

There was a knock on the door, and when Calix jumped at the sudden intrusion, Titus held him closer.

“Relax, it’s just Nyxian,” Aodhan explained, moving to walk around them to answer.

“Who?” Calix asked, but the second the doctor was no longer blocking his view of the table, he stopped caring about the answer.

“I have your creature. Would you like me to load it into your car now? I have places to be,” a new voice said to Aodhan as soon as the door was opened.

“Would you like a moment alone with her?” Titus whispered to Cal, stepping back when he didn’t immediately receive a response. “We’ll be right outside, Azi. Come to us when you’re done.”

Cal listened to them go and the sound of the door shutting behind them, sealing him inside the room with the remains of the person who’d raised him. Whether or not she’d done a good job of that was debatable. He’d both hated her and convinced himself he cared for her for so long that it was a struggle to grasp his emotions now.

It was a long while that he just stood there, staring into her eyes, taking in how they’d shifted and turned cross-eyed in death, the one on the left bloodshot and cloudy.

He’d never considered killing her, not when he’d been a teenager forced into her bed, and not after. As an adult in the Academy, he’d put his past behind himself as best he could and tried to move on. The only things that had lingered were his darker proclivities and kinks. Sometimes they made him think of her, but more often than not, he’d been able to turn his thoughts to Titus instead.

He gave a sharp, single bark of laughter without realizing.

Ironic that Titus Mercer had been helping him this whole time. That the man who’d orchestrated Calix’s kidnapping,who’d allowed him to be strung up and sexually tortured—Not just sexually, actually, physically too. He’d been left dangling from the ceiling with no food, long enough that his arms had lost feeling and his legs had twitched.

In retrospect, Titus had done way worse to him than Sister Grace had ever.

And yet…

Cal took a single step closer to the table, hand lifting as though to touch her face before dropping back to his side.