Page 54 of Evermore

“You're going to be the first patient to receive a treatment designed specifically for your condition,” Dr. Voss corrected, butthe distinction felt meaningless when Finn was the one taking all the risks.

River stood up abruptly. “We're leaving. This is insane—you want to experiment on him with a procedure you've never performed before.”

“All medical breakthroughs require first applications,” Dr. Voss said, her professional mask slipping slightly to reveal the research-driven motivation underneath. “Without patients willing to accept experimental treatment, we can't advance our understanding of neurological conditions.”

“Understanding,” Finn repeated, hearing the echo of Dr. Voss's real priorities. “This isn't really about helping me, is it? This is about studying what happens when you apply magnetic stimulation to someone with my condition.”

Dr. Voss's expression shifted, revealing the truth she'd been hiding behind medical authority. “Helping you and advancing our understanding of temporal perceptual displacement aren't mutually exclusive goals. Your case could provide insights that help others with similar conditions.”

“But if helping Finn were the primary goal, you'd be more conservative with treatment approaches,” River said, understanding dawning. “You'd try standard interventions first, established protocols, proven approaches.”

“Standard interventions don't work for TPD because the medical community doesn't understand the condition well enough to develop effective treatments,” Dr. Voss replied. “Experimental approaches are the only hope for patients like Finn.”

“Or experimental approaches are the only way to collect the data you need for your research,” Finn said quietly, pieces of the puzzle clicking into place. “My mother, your daughter—they didn't receive treatment because you didn't understandthe condition. And now you're using me to gather that understanding.”

Dr. Voss went very still, her professional composure finally cracking completely. “My daughter died because I couldn't help her. I refuse to let that happen to another family when I have the means to study and potentially treat this condition.”

“Study first, treat second,” River said, standing up and pulling Finn toward the door. “We're done here. We'll find other doctors, other approaches.”

“There are no other doctors,” Dr. Voss said, her voice taking on an edge of desperation. “I'm the only researcher in the country working on TPD. Without this treatment, Finn's condition will continue progressing until he's lost to you completely, just like Elena was lost to her family.”

The words stopped Finn in his tracks because she was right about one thing—his episodes were getting worse, and they hadn't found any other medical professionals who even understood his condition, let alone knew how to treat it.

“What if we compromise?” Finn asked, the words surprising himself as much as River. “What if we do a modified version of the treatment? Lower intensity, more conservative approach, with the understanding that we stop if I show any signs of distress?”

River turned to him with obvious alarm. “Finn, you don't have to do this. We can keep looking for other options.”

“What if there are no other options?” Finn asked quietly. “What if Dr. Voss is right that this is the only chance we have to stabilize my condition before it gets so bad that I lose myself completely?”

Dr. Voss seized on his wavering resolve. “We can start with minimal stimulation, just enough to observe your neurological responses. If the treatment shows promise, we can gradually increase intensity based on your comfort level.”

River looked between them, clearly torn between protecting Finn from experimental treatment and supporting his desire to try anything that might help his condition. “If we do this—and I mean if—then I want safeguards. I want the right to stop the treatment at any point if I think it's harmful. I want complete transparency about what you're doing and why.”

“Agreed,” Dr. Voss said quickly, but there was something in her expression that suggested her agreement might not mean much once the treatment began.

Finn looked at River, seeing his own fears reflected in the man he loved more than he'd ever thought possible. “I'm sorry for putting us in this position.”

“Don't,” River said firmly. “Don't apologize for having a condition you can't control. And don't apologize for letting me love you through it.”

“Whatever happens in there, whatever this does to my brain, I need you to know that loving you has been the most real thing in my life.”

River's eyes filled with tears he was trying not to shed. “Nothing's going to happen. You're going to be fine, and we're going to figure out how to build a normal life together.”

“And if I'm not fine?”

“Then we'll build an abnormal life together. But either way, we're building it together.” River leaned forward to press a soft kiss to Finn's forehead. “You're not getting rid of me that easily.”

Dr. Voss cleared her throat with obvious impatience. “If you're ready, we should begin. The optimal conditions for this treatment won't last indefinitely.”

Finn squeezed River's hand one more time, then nodded to Dr. Voss. “Let's do this before I lose my nerve completely.”

The transcranial magnetic stimulation began as a rhythmic tapping sensation against Finn's skull, like someone gently knocking on bone to get his attention. The magnetic coils positioned around his head hummed with electronic energy, creating fields that he could feel but couldn't see.

“How are you feeling?” Dr. Voss asked, her attention focused on monitors that were tracking his brain's response to the treatment.

“Like there's a woodpecker inside my skull,” Finn replied, his voice coming out slightly distorted. “Is it supposed to feel this intense?”

“Some sensation is normal. Your brain is adjusting to the magnetic fields.” Dr. Voss made adjustments to her equipment, increasing the intensity despite Finn's obvious discomfort. “We need to reach the threshold where your neurological patterns begin to stabilize.”

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