Page 35 of When Forever Stays

“No. We can’t. But I’m hoping he has a change of heart. No matter how long it takes, I know it will be worth it.”

“Heisworth it,” Ashley says, her voice full of emotion. “I pray he comes around.”

“Me too,” I say before changing the subject and asking Ashley about her day.

“Well, I did go out with someone last night.”

“Yeah? Is this the same guy you told me about a couple of weeks ago?” I ask.

“He is.”

“Things are good, I take it?”

“So good,” she answers, and I can hear the smile in her voice.

“I’m glad. You deserve someone great.”

“As do you,” Ashley says.

“I already have her.”

Ashley clears her throat. “Hold onto her.”

“I plan on it.”

My subconscious taunts,But will she hold on to you when the secret you’ve kept comes back to bite you?

After a few more minutes of small talk, I end the call and head to bed, praying that God gives me the confidence and words I need to finally tell Dana everything.

FOURTEEN

RHETT

I wake up drenched in a cold sweat and my covers on the floor as the remnants of last night’s nightmare fade away. I’ve had the dream for years, a dream I’ve asked God to take away from me so I can at least have some peace while I sleep. But His answer seems to be “wait.”

Before I even sit up, my legs bounce with nervous energy. I hop out of bed, slide on my running shorts and shoes, and head out the front door.

I haven’t been for a run in a while. As much as I want to sprint down the beach to burn off this anxious energy, my side is still tender, I sometimes still get dizzy, and my stitches are healing. So I force myself to take it slow.

As Dana's little bungalow comes into view, I’m again hit with conviction.I need to tell her.But if I tell her and I lose her…I don’t know what I’ll do.

We’ve been taking it slow. Each evening is laidback but still holds crackling tension like lightning brewing in a storm cloud. It’s been good, though, really getting to know her this timearound. She’s an incredible woman with a heart for Jesus and her ministry.

Something about our time together last night felt monumental. We walked down the beach until we found the perfect spot to sit and look up at the stars. I’ll never forget the way she looked sitting on the sand under the moonlight, with a contented smile on her face as we listened to the ocean waves.

We enjoyed the tranquility of nature’s sounds for a few minutes before she gently cut through the silence. “You know, I grew up on the beach, but there’s something about Amber Island that just feels…”

“Like home,” I finished for her. She looked at me, eyebrows raised. “I feel it too. It’s why I’m here again. Chicago never felt like home, not really. I’ve always been drawn to the ocean.” Her gaze was fixed on me as if she was hanging onto my every word. It gave me the confidence to say, “Probably because a little siren had been calling for me.”

Her lips tilted up in a smile. It wasn’t flirty, but it still drew me in. Every cell in my body screamed to touch my mouth to hers, but I didn’t. I respect the lines she’s silently drawn and know the wait will be worth it. One day she’ll erase those lines and she’ll be mine. But first, I need to work up the courage to tell her the truth, to tell her everything. Even if facing the darkest parts of my past is the last thing I want to do.

I swallow the lump in my throat as the memory I see in my nightmares crashes into my thoughts. The sound of gunfire, the smell of black powder, the haze that came after, and the roaring in my head that morphed into a numbing silence.

Dizziness slams into me, and I realize I’ve taken off into a run. I slow down and lean forward, resting my hands on my knees, and breathe in deep. Slowly, I lift my head to try and combat the dizziness and stare out at the sparkling water, inhaling the salty ocean air.

“You need to tell her,” I say out loud, then shake my head.

I can’t lose what we have. It’s too good.

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