Page 53 of When Forever Stays

“I felt the same way,” I say in a gentle whisper. He’s quiet for a few beats, and I wonder if he heard me. But when he turns around, there’s a blazing intensity in his eyes. The same one I noticed the moment before he kissed me. My insides warm at the memory.

“I’m sorry I kept my past identity from you. Every relationship I had before you was superficial. The women only chose me because of my fame.” His voice is deeper than I’ve ever heard it.

Tears spring unbidden to my eyes and I nod. “I can understand that. And sure, I crushed on RJ Hemlock as a teen from the moment I first heard his voice and watched him perform on TV. But I fell for Rhett the moment I laid eyes on him.” I can’t help my half smile. “I couldn’t help but fall hard for you.”

His lips turn down and he shakes his head. “You were a teenager when I was at the peak of my career. Don’t make me feel ancient. I don’t want my age to be another thing that should keep me away from you.”

I give him a sad smile. “Don’t let it.”

“Dana,” he says, his voice pained. “I don’t deserve you and I shouldn’t keep pursuing you.”

I grit my teeth, frustration quickly replacing the hope of what we could be. “Why would you say that?”

He looks away from me. “Because my heavy baggage will only drag you down.”

Angry tears spring to my eyes. “So, what are you saying? After all of this”—I wave my hands around—“this groveling and flowers and everything, you’re saying you don’t want me?”

His nostrils flare, and before I know what’s happening, he’s crossed the distance between us. He grips the top of the door frame and crowds my space, not hiding the longing in his eyes.

“You’re misunderstanding me.” He shakes his head. “What I’m saying is that despite not deserving you, I am far too selfish to let you slip through my fingers again. If you’ll have me, I’ll hold onto you with everything I have. I promise that you will never doubt my love or devotion.” He releases his hold on the doorframe, cupping my face with both of his big, calloused hands. “Whether you choose me or not, I am yours. Until my final breath.”

My chest rises and falls with his declaration. “And I’m all yours.”

His eyes search mine, then without warning, his right hand slides up to the back of my head, putting a barrier between the door and my skull. He presses his forehead against mine.

“You have no idea what a relief it is to hear you say that. Because without you…” Then his mouth is on mine, and he thoroughly shows me exactly what I’d be missing without him. I melt into him like soft butter melting on a hot pancake. It feels so good being in his arms, being kissed…being cherished by him.

I don’t know how much time passes as we kiss. His hands roam down to my lower back, and he drops them to my hips and gives me a gentle squeeze. He pulls away just enough to kiss the corner of my lips, then my jaw. His movements are fluid and precise, as if he can read what I want from him as his hands cup my face once more and he presses a lingering, tender kiss to my forehead.

He pulls away and stares down at me, leaving me beyond dazed. My eyes aren’t focused on anything besides Rhett. I slide my hands up to his shoulders, raising on my tiptoes to initiate another kiss. Rhett only allows a peck, so I lower off my toes with a pout.

“Oh, Little Siren, don’t worry, there will be much more of that. And I hate to break this moment, but there’s more I need to tell you. I want to lay everything out in the open before we continue. No more secrets.”

Reality crashes over me. “There’s more you’ve hidden from me?” I can’t mask the tremor in my voice.

He retreats a step and runs his hands through his hair. “It’s not something many people know about. Only the people who were there when it happened.”

“When what happened?” I ask.

He motions for us to sit on the hanging swing. I put a little space between us, but Rhett doesn’t allow it. He grabs my legs and rests them over his thighs.

“The last concert Phantom Echoes ever played, a woman died. And it was my fault.”

He’s silent for a few beats, and all the pieces of the puzzle click into place. “The woman who died backstage,” I say. He nods in confirmation. “But she committed suicide,” I argue. “That’s not your fault.” With exception of the breaking news right after it happened, the tragedy was kept under wraps. Phantom Echoes canceled all future concerts and might as well have dropped off the face of the earth.

“She’s the one who was in your nightmare, wasn’t she?” I ask, but he doesn’t need to say anything for me to know the answer. I knew that nightmare had to be awful for him to have the reaction he did. That was the memory that refused to give up when everything else—except his feelings for me—was swept away by amnesia.

He nods solemnly, then looks away. “She was in my dressing room when she did it. I watched her pull the trigger. I couldn’t stop her no matter how hard I tried. But I’m the reason she’s dead.”

“You can’t blame yourself for the actions of an unhinged fan.”

“She was going to shoot me. I should be the one who’s dead. Instead, she turned the gun on herself.” He goes silent for a long moment, and I can tell he’s gathering his thoughts. Rhett inhales a ragged breath and releases it. “I flirted with her, then rejected her, and my rejection brought on her death.”

I can’t hold back my gasp. His guilt rips my heart open. Without thought, I slide my way completely on his lap and wrap my arms firmly around him. The swing rocks forward and back, the motion soothing. Rhett doesn’t hug me back, but he doesn’t push me away either.

“It’s another reason why I know I don’t deserve you,” he whispers. As if disregarding his statement, he wraps his arms around me in a tight embrace.

RJ was known as the heartthrob of Phantom Echoes. He was the one women threw themselves at. According to the few articles I read about him in the tabloids, he took advantage of that attention. He’s probably been with so many women that it’s a number I don’t ever want to know. For his entire time in the band, he could have any woman he wanted. Something that’s mostly likely still true. I close my eyes, trying to rein in those thoughts because we’re not talking about any of those other women; we’re talking about a woman who took her own life in front of Rhett.

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