Page 104 of Keeping it Real

“You let this lie go on for ten years!And now Jamie is gone, and we can’t get those years back.”

Something inside her snapped.“Don’t you think I know that!My brother is dead because ofme!”She stabbed her finger into her chest.“If I had spoken up, he never would have married that gold digger!”she choked out.“Even though he claimed to have loved her first.He said he only stepped aside because she appeared to prefer you.And he thought you made her happy.”

Alek slammed his eyes shut as he leaned against the wall again for support.She swiped her tears away with her fingers.Seeing him more clearly didn’t change anything, however.The truth was written all over his face.

He hated her.

Not as much as she hated herself, though.

“Why?”he croaked.“Why didn’t you say something?”

Who knew it could be so physically painful to bare one’s soul?There was no turning back now, though.Her defense wasn’t going to make him despise her any less.She might as well rip the bandage off.

“Because I was a stupid teenage girl!”She gulped in a breath.“A misguided seventeen-year-old who was in love with her brother’s best friend.”

There.

She’d said it.

“I guess I thought with Madison out of the way, you’d finally see me.”She shrugged.“I didn’t think my idiot brother would marry her while they were in Las Vegas.”She shook her head.“By then, it was too late.”

Alek remained quiet.Sheridan didn’t dare look at him.Seeing anger or, worse, pity on his face would likely destroy what was left of her.

“The joke was on me, though,” she continued.“I went up to Dartmouth the night you got back.I was going to explain, I guess.I don’t know what I would have said.”She sniffled.“I do know I was desperate not to lose you—even if it was only as a friend.You were so important to me.”She took a moment to steady herself.“When I arrived, I overheard you talking to one of the guys, though.”She swallowed roughly.“I hung out in the hall eavesdropping.You sounded so angry.And hurt, I imagine.You said some pretty brutal things about Jamie.I was sick to my stomach about the mess I’d caused.I was going to come in and tell you the truth.But then”— she drew in another deep breath—“then you started on me.You said at least you wouldn’t have me hanging around twenty-four seven making moon eyes at you any longer.Then you laughed and said I was a fool for not understanding there was no way you’d ever think of me as anything more than an annoying little sister.”

Alek made an anguished sound, but Sheridan avoided looking that way and instead soldiered on.

“I know I have no excuse.I should have spoken up that night regardless of my hurt feelings.That was wrong of me.And I’m sorry.”She cleared her throat.“Forgive me.Don’t forgive me.It doesn’t matter.Because the one person whose mercy means the most isn’t around anymore for me to apologize to.And now I know for sure the blame for that rests with me.I’ll never,everbe able to forgive myself for Jamie’s death.”

“Sher—”

“Don’t.”She held up a hand to block him.“Nothing you can say will make this better.I totally understand if you never want to see me again, but please,please,don’t hold this against Finn.Jamie was right.He needs you in his life.I already took his father away from him.”She gulped a sob and headed for the bathroom.“We can figure out the logistics later.Right now, I need some time to process where I go from here.And that’s something I need to do alone.”

Twenty-Seven

The kids were splashingin the resort pool when Sheridan ventured downstairs that afternoon.She wasn’t particularly feeling social, but she needed to check on Finn.The fact that he didn’t have an asthma attack with all that went down last night was a minor miracle.Aunt Eileen told her he’d even slept through the night without incident.It looked as if her sweet nephew had turned a corner dealing with the death of his parents.

Too bad she was beginning to doubt she ever would.

She hesitated by the pool deck.Avoiding Alek would be easy.The team was in meetings in the ballroom.They would be climbing aboard a charter bus and heading to the arena shortly.Evading the WAGs was a different story.

“There she is!”two of the wives chorused.“Sheridan!Over here.We saved you a seat.”

Claire shot her an empathetic look.The women were only trying to be nice.After all, they thought she’d be one of them for the foreseeable future.

If they only knew.

Pasting on a wane smile, she chose the chaise closest to Claire.Grace was bundled up in a bright beach towel, asleep against Claire’s legs.

“Chasing her brother and his best friend has taken its toll on her,” Claire said quietly.

Any other time, Sheridan would have laughed at the irony.Not today.

“I can relate,” she murmured.

Finn came scampering out of the pool, the soles of his feet slapping against the concrete as he hurried toward her.He threw his arms around her neck, drenching her with pool water in the process.

“You’re okay,” he said.

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