Page 10 of Einar

Lookingaround,Inotice that the room isn’t anywhere near as lavish as some of the places thatI’vestayed withRobert, butIdon’t care.Agilded cage is still a cage, and it definitely wasn’t worth the priceIpaid.Theroom is larger thanIexpected; one might even say spacious by midrange hotel standards, and it’s decorated in a calming light blue and cheerful yellow colors.

Twofull-sized beds with matching duvet covers take up the majority of the space in the main room but curiously, there are doors on either side of them.

Iwonder where those go?

Lockingthe door behind us,Inotice thatRubywastes no time after entering the room.Shetosses her bag on the first of the two beds and then goes to check out where the other two mystery doors lead to.

Naturally, she chose the bed closest to the door leading outside.

TypicalRuby.

Rubyopens the first door and it appears to lead to a small kitchen area with a sitting room type space connected to it.They’vemounted a television on the wall, creating a space to sit and relax.

Ruby’ssoft gasp pulls my attention to the other door.Retreatingfrom my perusal of the common area,Iwalk over to the other door and enter the room behind her.Thereis a gorgeous, yet massive claw-foot tub dominating the space.Thefar wall boasts double vanities and the remaining one a walk-in shower.

IguessRubysees me gazing longingly at the tub because she says,

“Hey,I’mgoing to take a quick shower and whenIget done, you can go ahead and take a nice, long bath.Edithsaid we’re welcome to use anything in these rooms, like the clothes or any of the personal care stuff.ButIhave some extra things in my bag that should fit you if you’d rather use them instead.I’mgonna grab something out of the fridge to eat and then watchTVfor a little bit until my mind calms down while you’re taking a bath.Shealso said that she was going to bring us breakfast around eight.I’llneed to get to bed soon ifI’mgoing to finish the drive tomorrow, because we still have quite a ways to go.”

Mutely,Inod my agreement.Wordsare just too much effort right now.LeavingRubyto her privacy,Iclose the door quietly behind me and walk over to the remaining bed.Easingmy sore body down on the soft surface,Isigh in relief.Sittingfeels nice.

I’mnot sure what time it is or even what day it is at this point, andIdon’t really care.Thelack of movement is a balm to my battered body, andIfeel my mind start to drift.Ihaven’t had any true privacy or alone time sinceImarriedRobert.It’sa novel concept for me now.Thoughtsroil around in my mind like snakes writhing in a pit.

Regrets.

Recriminations.

I’mso lost in thought thatIdon’t hear the bathroom door open whenRubysteps out.Herintentionally softly spoken words, when my sister is anything but timid, pull me from my reverie.

“Rowan,I’mdone in the bathroom.It’sall yours, sis.”

Idon’t even have the energy to nod at her.Ijust stand up, walk back to the open bathroom door, and slip past her into the steamy room.Pushingthe door closed behind me,Iturn the lock.Thesoft snick seems overly loud in the quiet of the room, causing me to wince ever so slightly.I’msure that rankled my sister … but there are things on andinmy body thatI’mnot ready to share withanyone.So, she can get over whatever pique my locking of the door causes.

Sluggishly,Itake off my clothes.Beingcareful as usual not to snag the chains on my body asIdisrobe.Ihate the piercings and everything they represent.

But.

Alwaysthe inevitable, ‘but’.

UnlessIcan get my hands on a stout pair of wire cutters,Iwon’t be able to take the chain off.Robertalso had infinity loop jewelry put in all the piercings.Thismeans that a licensed piercer will have to take them out, and since they’re connected to my nipples and clit,I’mterrified to try to take them out by myself.

Ignoringthe mirrors reflecting my gaunt body,Ireach over and turn the hot water on all the way while using the cold to make the heat less scalding and more bearable.OnceI’msatisfied with the temperature,Ilook around the bathroom asIwait for the tub to fill.Acute woven basket on the ground next to the tub catches my attention.It’sfilled with every type of product a woman could want in a bath.Isee bubbles, bath bombs,Epsomsalts, and more.

Thelavender bubble bath with melatonin, coconut/vanilla bath bomb, and plain oldEpsomsalts sound like a winning combination.Decisionmade,Itoss in a bomb, squirt in the bubble bath and dump a large amount ofEpsomsalts into the rapidly filling tub.Thewater turns a milky white as the bomb dissolves and the combination of scents fills the air.

Carefully,Iswing one leg over the side of the tub only to find the bottom of the tub is textured to prevent slipping, soIwaste no time in getting in the rest of the way and easing down into the water.Oncethe tub fills to the depthIprefer,Ireach up and turn the water off.Leaningback against the tub,Isoak in the heat and relief.

Thetears, when they come, almost catch me by surprise.

IthoughtIwas all cried out, but the soothing embrace of a hot bath and the tentative safetyI’mexperiencing bring it all back to me; the memories slamming into me with the force of a freight train.Yearsof conditioning prevent me from making any noise asIcry.Thebehavior is so ingrained,Ino longer consciously realizeI’mdoing it untilInoticeRubyhasn’t come knocking on the door in concern.

Idon’t know how longIlay there crying, but whenI’mdone,Idon’t feel any better than whenIstarted.Ilinger in the tub until my skin prunes and the water begins to cool.

Timeto get out.

Standing, lukewarm water sluices off my emaciated body.Disgustfills me asIlook down.Whata broken creatureI’vebecome.

ChapterNine

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