“Victoria has strict beliefs because she grew up that way. Just don’t give up, and keep your head held high. You’re too blinding to fade away because of your mother.”
I nodded, a small smile creeping onto my lips, but that halted when Mom’s shrill voice echoed through the room, calling out for me.
Abuela rolled her eyes, going back to her crochet while I took my sweet time lifting myself off the couch. I was in no hurry to see Mother. It would be another one of her future plan lectures, and I was just so tired of it.
I wanted to be upside down on a certain man’s couch watching K-drama as I strategized game plans while Matty looked at me with bemused wonderment.
What would I do to have those moments again?
“Yes, Mom?” I asked, entering our little dining area where she was situated in her usual seat, her reading glasses perched on her petite nose while she peered at a bunch of papers in front of her.
“Good, Sierra, you’re here. Take a seat.”
And I did, like an obedient girl without speaking another word.
“So I contacted a few schools and spoke with an adviser that Mrs. Chenin recommended, and thankfully, we still do have a few good options for you. Not the greatest but it would do.” She proceeded to tell how the best option was to get into biology at our local community college and do exceptionally well, so well that I could secure an Ivy League admission for med school. She firmly added that I would need to be dedicated and work hard.
There was zero ounce of excitement in my blood during the entire talk. Just thinking that this would be my life for the next four years brought tears to my eyes.
There wasn’t a thrill in my arteries or a thrum in my heart or a fire in my nerves.
Like there usually was when I gamed.
Nothing.
I felt nothing.
This wasn’t me at all. I would waste away till there weren’t even crumbles left of me anymore.
Was that what my parents wanted?
For me to feel like I was nothing.
“You’ll come with me tomorrow morning to see the adviser, and I want to get your applications started as soon as possible. We’ve already wasted too much time.”
“I can’t tomorrow,” I blurted. “I’m meeting Matty.” Tomorrow was a Thursday, and I wasn’t going to miss the chance of seeing him. Not like he hadn’t tried to invite himself over every single day since he left me outside my house five days ago.
“You’re still with him?” She frowned.
My heart stopped.Why would she say something like that?
“Ye…yes.”
“I assumed you would’ve left him when you came back home,” she said in a nonchalant tone while she sifted through the papers. “I know Mr. Evans is a good man, very respectful and kind, but at the end of the day, he is a celebrity, Sierra. Do you think you could fit into that lifestyle? I don’t think you would fit into his life, sweetie. I hope you think about it. I won’t interfere in your dating life. We’ll meet the adviser on Friday.”
And with that, she left, taking poised steps out of the room.
The only way Victoria Chan would deem elegant for a lady. Not even seeing the wreckage she caused on her daughter’s heart.
Which lay shattered on the ground.
Like pieces and pieces of bleeding shards of glass.
I don’t think you would fit into his life, Sierra.
There it was, another person voicing out my own thoughts.
I sat there, right where she left me, staring at the neat order of papers.