“And when did you find out you were pregnant?”
“Umm, yesterday.” I licked my dry lips as I watched her set the wand aside and flash me a sad smile.
“You were never pregnant, Katy,” she informed softly. “You are just having your period. Since your cycle is irregular, you must be experiencing more pain than usual.”
“That…that can’t be true,” I said in a voice I didn’t recognize. “I checked it twice. Both tests showed I was pregnant.”
“Sometimes, false positives are possible, or maybe the tests were expired. But your scan and blood work suggest you were never pregnant.”
“No… no, Doctor.” I shook my head frantically. “Please, check again. Please,please.”
Her eyes shined with pity, but she nodded, continuing the same motion while my heart sank by the second. And the look on her face was the culmination of the truth.
I wasn’t pregnant.
I was never pregnant.
My soft hope, an innocent hope, deflated like a bothersome tree in the middle of the road.
Suddenly, I felt more stupid and dumb than I’d ever felt in my entire life.
Thanking the doctor, I left the hospital feeling worse than what I did when I entered earlier.
A sudden low vibration in my hand drew my eyes to my ringing phone.
“Hello?”
“Katy, where the fuck are you?” Lan’s distressed voice reached my ears. “I’ve been trying to call you for hours.”
“L...Lan, I’m back at the house.” The lie slipped easily. “I actually got my p…period, and it made a mess of my clothes.”
I heard him let out an exhale. “Fucking hell, K. You okay now? I’ll be there in ten.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m fine. It’s just my period, Lan,” I reassured, mustering a steady tone. “The shoot is more important. We won’t have time for a re-shoot and the issue comes out this fall.”
For a long moment, he didn’t say a word.
“Lan?”
“Yes, I’m here. Fine, I’ll see you later tonight.”
“Okay.”
I lay unblinking, covered in thick sheets, feeling sorry for my stupid self when Lan came into our room later that night. I quickly shut my eyes and turned to the side, pretending to sleep as I slowed my breathing.
“Angel?” Lan’s soft voice called out, but I didn’t answer.
I just didn’t feel like talking to anyone. Even him.
I could feel him standing there, staring at me. Like I’d done last night, it lasted about a minute before I heard a rustle followed by the bathroom door closing softly.
I tried not to show any reaction when I felt his heat hover over me five minutes later, the tip of his rough calloused finger stroking my cheek tenderly.
“Beautiful,” I heard him whisper.
And my heart ached.
It didn’t ease when he wrapped his arms around me and held me to his chest like I was his most precious thing in the world. But it did seem to flare in some of my lost hope.