Page 58 of From Angel to Rogue

“Why don’t I make the best spread for dinner?” Her hazel eyes questioned. “Mom always says food makes you feel better.”

“Thank you,” I said gratefully, instead of denying. I could use some home-cooked food. Not some, a lot.

“Perfect.” She clapped excitedly. “I’ll go game for a bit before I get started on dinner. I swear to you, Katy, I’m going to make you feel ten times better.”

Matty smiled and pressed a kiss to her cheek before she gave me a quick hug and skipped away.

My twin had his eyes trained on her till she disappeared down the hallway.

“If Mikey were here, he would’ve sure made a comment on how sappy you look,” I muttered dryly.

His soft eyes slid to me, softening further with worry and concern. “Are you finally going to tell me what’s wrong with you, K?”

I inhaled sharply. “I think so.”

For the next hour, I explained all the stupid things I did in my life, all the immature decisions I made, and all the ways life screwed me when I was young.

Everything, well, except for that night because even I wasn’t sure what happened to me that night.

My brother listened quietly, holding my hand. He showed no emotion or reaction, except at times a thin line would form over his jaw or his hand would squeeze mine tighter.

There was no right way to confess to your brother that the machine you became was intentional. Only for all the wrong reasons.

And when I finished, a moment of silence passed between us.

I held my breath, waiting for him to say something, but he just stared intently at the floor. I didn’t say another word, though. I wanted to give him the time to grasp what a fake life his sister had been living.

“Feels like I failed you,” he said quietly, his eyes drawing to mine. “Feels like as a brother I failed you, K.”

I gave him a morose smile. “You didn’t.”

“You’re my fucking twin, K.” He raked his fingernails over his buzz-cut hair. “I’m supposed to fucking know these things about you. How the fuck could I have been so blind?”

“Hey.” I laid a soft hand on his shoulder. “It’s not your fault. I was so good at hiding that even Lan didn’t figure me out.” Saying his name hurt, and from the crack in my voice, Matty noticed too.

“Is that why Lan and you have been acting weird lately?”

“Yeah, we broke up,” I whispered, unable to hide the pain in my voice. “It’s not really his fault. I could never blame him. He gave and gave until there was nothing left. And now he’s gone.”

“I’m sorry.” My brother’s sad eyes found mine. “But Lan will come back to you, K. He loves you too much to leave you alone.”

“I know,” I breathed. “But still, it scares me. I thought becoming this awful version of myself would keep him with me, but it only did the opposite. I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

Matty sighed and pulled me into his arms once again. “There’s nothing awful or empty or weak about you, K. You did what you had to do. On your own. No one blames you.” He slowly ran his hand over my back. “We love you. Every version of you. I don’t ever want you to think otherwise.”

I nodded, burying myself deeper into his hold.

I spent the entire day like that.

Well, except for when Sierra announced that dinner was ready. I had no clue how she whipped out about seven different dishes in a matter of hours, but she did.

I think I might steal her from my brother because damn, was it incredible. My stomach was bursting by the time we retired to the living room to watch a movie.

I made a mental note to get her a few extra presents for her birthday.

My brother got so fucking lucky, but then I did too. Even thinking abouthimmade me feel guilty. Like a crime. Like I shouldn’t be missing and wishing for him when all I’d done was avoid and ignore him when he was with me.

Sierra and I used my brother as our own cuddle pillow on the couch. Me on his left and her on his right with his arms protectively draped over us.

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