Page 44 of Nine-Tenths

"It's really not."

I put my socks on and a sourness curls through my guts. Fuck. I shouldn't have called her. I don't want to feel small, and stupid when I see Dav again. Like I'm making a mistake.

"Okay then," Mum says finally. "Just be careful."

"I have two condoms in my wallet, and I've already checked the expiry dates," I joke, desperate for a return to levity, even as I'm speaking through a clenched jaw.

"Colin!" Mum laughs, scandalized.

"What? You work in healthcare. Don't act like you don't know what men my age get up to."

"I don't want to think about it!"

"Fine, fine. Oh, actually, there was something I wanted to ask. Mum, you're a nurse."

"I'm aware," she says, and there's the nice light banter back. Whew.

"Can food allergies … vanish?"

Mum makes a thoughtful noise. "People can grow out of food allergies. But yours have only gotten worse. Why?"

"I had a chocolate latte today by mistake."

"And you're going on a date? I'm sure he'll understand if you cancel—"

"No, that’s what I mean. I feel fine."

"Maybe it wasn't real chocolate?"

"You know Hadi would never stock crap."

"I don't… I don't know what to say, then. Maybe you were lucky this time."

"Maybe? I dunno."

"Has anything else changed? Are you on any new meds?"

"Dr. Chen hasn't changed anything," I confirm.

"Keep a list of what's different for the next week," Mum says. "I'm glad you're fine."

"Me too."

"And, Colin?"

"Yeah?"

She hesitates, and then says, carefully: "Have a good time tonight."

Thank god.

Affection, warm and bright, bursts through me. "I will. Bye." I hang up and go digging through the dirty laundry at the bottom of my closet for a decent pair of shoes.

When I resurface, I take in the state of my room.

Yeah, no.

There’s nothing cool or sexy about this. Quick as I can, I jam all of my dirty clothes into my hamper, shove what other crap I can under the bed, and change the sheets.

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