"Then why didn't you answer my calls?" The resentment that’s been simmering begins to boil.
His tail drops away, retreating behind him, swaying once, twice, and then is gone between one blink and the next. "At first, I had no phone. And then because…" he smooths his waistcoat nervously. "It's unseemly to have humans in your Nesting Grounds when they are not, ah, yours."
"I'm pretty fucking sure I made it clear I was yours," I snap, and, oops,there'sthe anger. "Had a few magical nights about it, too."
"Sex doesn't make you mine," Dav says, but the dimple beside his mouth is curling upward. I'm glad he's amused. That makes one of us. "Any more than it makes meyours."
"I am so fucking angry with you," I tell him.
"I know," he says, but it's not condescending. It's a bland statement of fact.I see you. I acknowledge what you're feeling.
"You walked out the door with them."
"Yes."
"Dav, you—" Something in the fury freezes, cracks. "Youleft."
"I had no choice."
The frozen thing shatters. It turns to shards, pierces the knot of anxiety at the top of my stomach, drives into the back of my eyes. I make a noise that I haven't heard come out of my mouth since Dad's funeral.
"Youleft," I accuse. "I thought that it was the last time I was ever going to… to touch you. That you were dying somewhere and I wouldn't be able to hold you and—and I can'tdothat again!"
"I never meant to hurt you," Dav says, all in a rush. "It was better—"
"You don't get to decide what's better for me."
"Colin, please, there's so much you don't understand."
"Because you won't explain it to me!" I thump his chest in frustration. He lets me. "You weregone."
"I know, and I—"
"Youdon'tknow!" I shout, glaring up into his face, not caring that my own is wet with tears and snot. "My Dad… he was fine, and then he wasn't, and we weren't allowed… I had to watch through a window. All I could do was press my face against the glass and beg him to breathe, to keep breathing, and then he… hestopped, and I couldn't… I wasn't even allowed totouchhim. He's goneforever… and Iwasn't—"
"Colin, shhhh."
Somehow, we're on the floor, now. He's petting my hair, and I'm tumbled into his lap.
"You left onpurpose." Everything inside of me is cracking open, escaping as ugly, horrible sobs. I'm choking back bile and fury, the root of my tongue burns, my heart squeezes, my hands feel numb even as I claw at his sleeves to make sure he can never escape, can never run away from me again.
"I had no choice—"
"You could have fought! There were people with cameras on the sidewalk, they—you could havefoughtfor me!"
"I did," he whispers, cheek against mine. "Believe me, Colin, in all the ways I could, I did."
"What did they do to you?" I ask, trying to pull away, but Dav is strong, holds me in place. I struggle for a second, and then try the opposite tack. I melt into him, tilt my chin up to whisper in his ear. "What happened?"
"Later," he breathes, ruffling my hair. "Let me… I want to… you smell so good, I’ve never explained how much I…" His forked tongue flickers out, touches the skin behind my ear.
I push back enough to frame his face with my hands.
"Were you trying to protect me by staying away?" His gaze drops down to where his hands knead my waist. "Answer."
"I complained about the media. Said it wasn't right, their hounding you, when you and I had never… reached an arrangement. He put a stop to it."
"The paps?"