Page 124 of Mate to the Alpha Called God

His hand wrapped around her fist and pulled it away from her chest, then he adjusted her, placing her chest to his own chest and held her against him tighter.

Then, the Wolf reached out through his chest in a consoling gesture, rubbing against her, soothing her. He closed his eyes and leaned down, pressing her deeper into his chest and rubbing his jaw, his cheek all over her hair.

Warmth spread through Ismena's body, rubbing against the pain, dulling the harshest part of it. The pain is still there but it wasn't as overwhelming, as suffocating as it was before.

Ismena cried and clung to him for a very long time, and he held her. The night dragged by. The moonlight cast shadows on the hurting couple plastered against each other on a dark night.

Finally, she stirred. Wolfaraine took it as a cue and uncoiled from her. Sniffles and hiccups took turns coming out of her mouth, the trembling of her body has subsided too. She became aware of her surroundings again, and the man who was holding her, consoling her, so selflessly.

"Thank you so much," She whispered, sincerely. "I needed that."

"How are you feeling?" Tired blue eyes, filled with masked pain gazed down at her.

"Better." Now, with her pains subsided, she could feel his.

"Good." He rose from the bed with her, she wiggled down from his body and he helped her gently until she found her footing. Then, he pulled away from her.

The silence that followed was filled with tension, laced with awkwardness. She could tell he wanted to leave—he was eying the door so longingly. But somehow, Ismena doesn't want him to leave.

He'd consoled her wholeheartedly just now, not giving a care about himself, but she could still feel the distance between them. Leaving the issue alone and leaving words unsaid was not solving anything. They needed to talk about it.

"How are you feeling?" She asked softly.

Through the semi-darkness, she saw him stiffen. "I'm fine. Get some sleep, Ismena." He turned to leave.

"I'm sorry about my father." She said, her words stopping him, "I know he apologized over and over again when he was...still alive but I needed to say it. I—"

"You needed to say nothing, Ismena. Gods, you are apologizing tome?" Whirling around, he faced her, "What exactly are you apologizing for? Are you apologizing to me for raping you brutally and making you suffer so hard until you lost your life?"

She cringed, "How can you say something like that?"

He shook his head, his wide shoulders so taut, his big body filled with so much tension. Turning away from the door, he walked to the window, crossed his arms, and stared out blankly.

"I worked so hard to shove your memories away, so it is not surprising to me that I didn't recognize you. I should have known. All the signs were there. Same courage, same bravery, same stubborn brown eyes." He swallowed tightly, "No wonder the wolf was immediately smitten."

"Wolfaraine..."

"To answer the question you asked, I'm not alright, Ismena. How would I be alright? I just found out that my mate was among the females I abused in the labs."

She walked closer and placed her hand on his back. He flinched, pulling away as if her touch had burned him. It hurts, but Ismena curled her fingers into a fist on her sides to keep from reaching for him again.

"That girl was the brightest thing in a world filled with darkness and suffering. She had so much light... Then, one day, I snuffed it right out. Just like I did to the light of my little sister." His throat was so dry it felt like aches. He swallowed tightly again.

"It was not your fault."

He laughed. She has never heard a sound more empty before.

"I felt a bit better when I woke, you know. You died, so that means you won't be suffering anymore. And if I push your memories away so hard, I can at least stay a little bit sane." He shuddered visibly when he remembered her nightmares. "I had no idea..."

"I had no idea that she was alive, suffering, going through traumas a girl of eight years old should never have to go through. Your father narrated everything in full detail, Ismena. That was when I truly believed him when he said that the guilt had stayed with him for the past eighteen years, and he never forgot, not even for one day. Because, I will never forget either."

The agony that radiated from him was so great, that she felt it deep in her soul. Tears filled her eyes again. How do I get to him? Will I ever be able to get to him?

"Wolfaraine..." Unable to resist the urge anymore, she placed her hand on his back again trying to console him, even if it was just a little bit.

But, just like before, he jerked away from her touch instantly, like he couldn't bear even the slightest contact from her.

His voice was toneless, "My little sister has been stuck in her Wolf form all these years, because of the traumas of what I did to her. All because she had a brother like me. I tried to live with it all these years but it's been so hard, Ismena. It's been so hard."

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