They always left, and every time they did, I let the volume go up. The chaos got louder and the mess got bigger, because if I could keep everyone looking at the wreckage, maybe no one would see how brokenIwas underneath it.
I sank lower into the water, my body aching, sore and warm, heart pounding against the bruises of everything I’d ever wanted and been afraid to ask for.
Now here was this man, this terrifyingly ruthless man who didn’t just want mein spiteof the storm; he wanted mebecauseof it.
“I don’t even know how to be a wife,” I said quietly, not looking at him.
“You don’t need to know,” he said, tipping my chin back up. “You just need to show up. I’ll deal with the rest.”
My heart twisted again.
That stupid, dangerous, aching part of me wanted to believe him, wanted to believe that this time, someone would stay. That maybe, for once in my life, being a little wild, a little loud, a little bit of a bad girl didn’t mean I’d be left behind.
Maybe it meant I’d bekept.And maybe—just maybe—I wanted to be. I wasn’t going to make it easy for him, though.
Not by a long shot.
CHAPTER 17
Nikolai
When I told her she was going to be my bride, she didn’t run.
Instead, she looked down. Blushed. Later, she glanced at my belt like she already knew what kind of husband I’d be.
She didn’t know it yet, but I’d already decided everything. There was going to be a wedding, a real one. A ceremony that tied her to me in every way, not just legally, not just publicly, but irrevocably.I didn’t do half-measures. Not in business, not in loyalty, and never with something as rare and wild as her.
She would walk down an aisle with candlelight flickering and its golden light catching the curves of her white silk gown. Smooth and soft and deceptively innocent. I wanted her in that color. I wanted her wrapped in contradiction; this untamable little firecracker dressed like purity itself. She would be the kind of vision that made men pause. The kind of woman that turned heads and gutted kings.
Her dress would cling to her body in all the right ways. The neckline would dip just low enough to paint an enticing picture, the fabric whispering around her legs with every step she took toward me. There would be no veil. No hiding. Just her eyes locked on mine and the knowledge that this was real.
She would pout through it, of course. Honestly, I’d probably have to take my belt to her bare ass before the ceremony, which would just make her pout even harder. My cock jumped at the thought.
Her lips would twitch in defiance during the vows. She might even roll her eyes when I said until death do us part.But she’d say the words, because deep down, beneath the fight and the bite, she wanted to bekept.She wanted a man who wouldn’t flinch when she pushed, who wouldn’t leave when she set things on fire just to see who ran.
I would never run.
Not from her.
Not ever.
I looked down at her—still flushed, her breath soft and uneven as she floated somewhere between resistance and surrender.
She was so fucking beautiful.
I leaned in and kissed her, slowly this time, deep, but soft. My mouth moved over hers like she was something delicate, even though we both knew she wasn’t. I tasted the uncertainty still clinging to her lips, the heat beneath the hesitation, the breathless ache she was trying to keep buried.
When I pulled back, I rested my hand against her cheek, brushing a thumb along her jaw.
“You have one more choice tonight,” I said, my voice quiet and steady. “The last one you’re going to get for a while.”
Her eyes met mine, wide and cautious. Hopeful.
I tilted my head toward the hallway. “You can sleep in the guest room. Or… you can sleep in my bed.”
She looked away for just a second, but not because she was unsure. She already knew the answer; she just didn’t want to admit how much shewantedit.
She glanced back up. Her voice was quiet when she answered me.