Lachlan crouches next to us. His big hand gathers up mine and pulls my knuckles to his lips. His brown eyes peer up into my face, desperate and searching.
“Please,” he murmurs. “Just tell us what’s wrong.”
I can’t.
I can’t look into his beautiful face and watch as all that love curdles into loathing and disgust.
“I need Lauren,” I croak. “Please.” A fresh wave of tears burns down my cheeks. They drizzle off my chin to soak into my t-shirt. “Please,” I beg, plea caught on a sob.
The two exchange glances, but they don’t deny me.
Gingerly, Van sets me on the bed in his place. They grab their sweats off the chair by the door. I don’t watch them leave the room. I don’t even breathe as I crawl to the center of the mattress and curl up.
Lauren’s feet sprinting into the room is paused only by the sharp command for everyone to get out. Followed by the door slamming shut. The next second, the bed dips and her arms are around me.
She doesn’t say a word. Doesn’t ask. She just folds me into her chest and holds me as I break apart all over again.
She strokes my hair and rubs my back. she says nothing of the sweat or the smell of throw up on my breath. She kisses my temple and lets me empty myself until I’m too exhausted to cry anymore.
“Talk to me,” she whispers once even the hiccups have faded.
But I don’t know how to tell her either. How can I explain the level of my own stupidity? How do I tell her I nearly found happiness only to destroy it with my carelessness? How do I explain that I gave up everything to protect them and now I’m so isolated and alone? That I have nothing and no one.
“I’m an idiot,” I say at last.
“Tell me what happened, and I’ll be the judge of that,” she counters.
I lift a corner of the sheets to wipe my eyes ... and nose.
“I’m going to lose Lachlan ... and I only just finally got him...” My voice cracks and fresh tears cut down my temple to soak into the mattress. “And I’ll lose Van. I’ll lose them both.”
“Tell me why,” she presses.
I suck in a wet, shaky inhale. “I might be pregnant.”
Her eyebrows spring up, emphasizing the widening of her eyes. “Might be?”
I tell her because there isn’t a person on earth I trust more. No one who will listen and never judge. I tell her because she will know what to do and I need someone to tell me what to do.
“Firstly, you don’t even know if you are,” she says when I fall silent. “Secondly, I don’t think that man will ever leave you.”
Even as hope lightens my chest, I smother it down.
“He’ll think I’m like Ashley. He’ll think I did it deliberately to keep him.”
Lauren arches a single eyebrow. “Sweetie, here’s the difference between you and Ashley...” She clears her throat. “She’s a bitch. A stupid, conniving, manipulative, foul bitch. Remember, I actually know the woman. I grew up with her and her shit stain of a son. There isn’t a more disgusting woman on the planet. What she did should be illegal. And it pissed her off that Lachlan never loved her. But, love of my life,” her features soften. She brushes a damp lock of hair off my cheek, “that man is so in love with you a blind man can see it. From the first day I moved to Jefferson, and I saw the way he looked at you, I knew he was done. I kept telling you, you picked the wrong Shaw, and I meant it. Lachlan would walk on glass for you.”
“What if he doesn’t want a baby?”
Her face scrunches into one of disgust. “Too fucking bad. If he didn’t want a baby, he should have worn a condom. He’s a grown ass man. Not a sixteen-year-old kid. It takes two ... three?” she corrects with a grimace, “to make a baby. It’s not all on you. So, he can suck it up and be a father, or fuck him, I will.”
Despite the knot in my chest, I chuckle. “You’ll be the father?”
“Fucking right I will.” Her expression turns serious. “But that’s not going to happen. Even if Lachlan says no, which I am willing to bet my signedWhitneyposter will never happen, my dad will never turn you away.” Her eyes roll and she grudgingly looks up at the ceiling. “He also has loved you for longer than I like.”
“You knew?”
Lauren huffs and folds her arms. “None of you have ever been subtle. The way you’d all eye fuck each other, I’m surprised I’m not pregnant. I kept hoping you’d pick Lachlan andonly Lachlan, and leave my dad alone, but ... it’s fine.”