Page 113 of Mean Machine

“How did your big case go?”

“We won, and the ones that came after too.” Nathaniel looked very satisfied with that. “We’ve just been mopping up the stragglers, but the end is very much in sight now. A few weeks, no more.”

“Congratulations.”

“Thanks. I’m about ready to have anxiety dreams about a different case.” Nathaniel snorted, but it sounded more like a sigh. “The past year has really shown me my limits, and I’ll be able to make decisions soon about how to deal with that.”

“What do you mean?”

Nathaniel seemed ready to respond immediately, but paused again, eyes narrowed very slightly, possibly to read Brooklyn’s intentions. “It’s bolstered my reputation. A well-regarded law firm has offered me a job as a partner because one of their seniors has decided to spend more time writing his ten-volume history of European diplomacy, so if I decide to take the offer, I’d pick up some of his slack at first. I told them I’m a single father and can’t in good conscience work the same hours, but they are willing to work around my limitations.”

“That would mean handing everything over to Dion?”

“Yes.” Nathaniel cast a glance back in the direction they’d come from and the general direction of his office. “It would give me more time to devote to my work on stewardship reform.”

The word alone was like biting into something rotten, but Brooklyn forced himself to stay neutral, though of course he didn’t fool Nathaniel.

“There are still many thousands of people in that situation, with nobody too interested in taking up their cause, or at least not taking the lead on it. I’m sure I can actually effect change—I have backing, education, funds, and, most of all, a strategy. I’ll make this too expensive and troublesome for the government so they won’t be able to expand stewardship as planned. Once we have halted their advance, I’ll make them give up the ground they’ve already taken, an inch at a time.”

Brooklyn shifted uncomfortably. As much as he’d have preferred to forget about it, ignore it had ever had an impact on him, Nathaniel’s passion to take on the fight was genuine, and he would have to accept it would be a lot of trouble. “I guess, with Rupert Edwards now in charge of the Home Office….”

“Exactly. Somebody told me he passed up on the Chancellery so he could have the Home Office and with that, much more power over stewardship. The battle isn’t done. The man has a grudge.”

Yes, and if not Nathaniel, who else could take the fight to them?

“What does the law firm think about that?”

“My expertise is one reason why they want to hire me.”

“I’d go for it. It gets you out of Dion’s hair, and if you have more time for Hazel, even better. You could make a big difference to the poor bastards who still have to cope with guys like Curtis.”

“Yes, I’m very seriously leaning in that direction.” Nathaniel relaxed more, and sipped his coffee in silence for a while, thoughtful, likely already putting together a plan. If that removed Dion from Nathaniel’s immediate life, even better. What kind of arsehole hated children, anyway?

“There was one thing I needed to say, and the zoo might not have been the best place for that,” Brooklyn began, and already felt his heart pick up the pace and hammer in his chest. “I accused you of freaking out because I’d be independent and because I didn’t want your money. That was uncalled for, and I wanted to apologise.”

Nathaniel lowered the coffee cup in genuine surprise. “But maybe you were right, Brooklyn. I know I can be controlling, but I’m not doing it for any nefarious purposes. I wanted to look after you and protect you in the only ways I know to. Maybe I didn’t graciously enough accept that you don’t need my help or protection anymore. It had become a different kind of relationship, and I was slow in adapting, emotionally. Also, to be perfectly frank, that fight against Thorne frightened me to death. You looked, for the first time, seriously hurt. Until that night, I never doubted you would win, and with all the other stress and struggles, I just reached my limits.”

Damn. He’d wanted to take out Nathaniel to flirt with him, court him, tell him what he still meant to him, hoping that all could be forgiven and overcome, and now they sat here, speaking honestly, no punches pulled, and it wasn’t so much romantic as intense, and meaningful, and important, but in a totally different way. Honesty could be brutal, but if they could talk like that, there had to be trust left. You weren’t honest to a person who didn’t matter.

“Yes, me too, but I didn’t really know it yet.” Brooklyn swallowed hard against the lump in his throat. “I should have come back. Took me a while to work out that I fought for something that wasn’t worth having, and didn’t fight hard enough to keep the man who was.” Nathaniel’s smile brightened, and he stood and reached for Brooklyn’s hand. Brooklyn gave it to him and stepped closer. Suddenly he had no idea where to keep all that wounded tenderness that welled up from every cell of his body without warning, like happy tears. “I’m so sorry I fucked up.” He opened his arms and was surprised when Nathaniel hugged him tightly.

“You didn’t, Brooklyn. We were both idiots, weren’t we? I knew I wouldn’t be able to just push you out of my life…. Every morning when I looked at Hazel, I realised how much she resembles you, and I wondered if I could have done anything else, anything different, tried harder, worked harder to give you more space, but then I was proud, and exhausted….”

“Shhht.” Brooklyn ran his hands over Nathaniel’s back, enjoyed the strong warm body against his. “I’m sorry. Let’s… maybe try again and see how we can do better this time?”

“Third time’s the charm?”

“Four, five, six times, I don’t care. I want to make this work if you let me.”

Nathaniel sniffed into Brooklyn’s shoulder. “I think I’d like that a lot.”

Brooklyn pressed him closer. “Good. Also, I’ve never been to the zoo here. Is it any good?”

“As long as it has animals, she’ll think it’s the best place on earth,” Nathaniel said, lifting his head off Brooklyn’s shoulder. “And I think I’ll enjoy it if you’re coming with us.”

“More than happy to complete the trio,” Brooklyn said and, tentatively, placed a kiss on Nathaniel’s lips, almost shocked with pleasure at how good it felt to hold Nathaniel and kiss him like this, with care and tenderness.

Round 12

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