Page 85 of Love Spell

If only he could remember the answer by morning.

27

Julian’s office was in an ancient vestry attached to a former church, now converted to residential, which seemed an odd choice given the nature of his work, but Timo was used to all manner of eccentric old buildings being repurposed around London.The most important thing was that the light level inside was low and that Julian had been willing to see him first thing this morning.

Okay, so it wasn’t “first thing” depending on your standards.It was the middle of the morning and Timo was once more skipping work.But this was when Julian could meet and Timo hadn’t exactly been up and coherent for hours already.

Julian did not offer a smile or a “good morning” or anything like that.He opened the door to Timo’s knock after leaving him waiting for long enough that Timo wondered if he was at the right place, then simply stepped back for Timo to come in.

“What do you want?”was Julian’s greeting.

Timo hadn’t explained himself on the phone, only pleading for a meeting anytime today, as soon as possible.

“Just to talk.I won’t take much of your time.”Timo eased the sunglasses from his nose and crept across the ancient rug as if it might crumble below his feet.

“I already know that much,” Julian said too loudly, closing the door with unnecessary force while the noise rattled through Timo’s eyeballs and down his spine like shattering chandeliers.

“I don’t suppose I could get a coffee?”Timo murmured, smelling it strongly through the musty stone of the place and hint of incense.

“I don’t suppose so.”But Julian sighed as if prompted by someone else.“Be right back.”He stalked through a connecting door.

Timo didn’t bother looking around the little room, avoiding windows and several lit candles with his eyes squinted almost shut, focusing on his brain not splintering off into shards.

Julian brought a colourfully painted, handmade clay mug of black coffee without offer of add-ins, but that was how Timo preferred it anyway.It was damn good too: smooth, strong but flavourful, not acidic.

Julian dropped into a high-backed cushioned chair facing Timo with the candles on a table between them so Timo couldn’t look at him without seeing flickering flames.Timo looked into his mug.

“Well?”Julian said.“What is it?”

Timo swallowed and carefully addressed his coffee.“I’ve come to ask you to please remove the spell on me.”

“Why?Is the spell that doesn’t exist still inconveniencing you?”He spoke so loudly, kicked back in his chair, one ankle crossed on the other knee, that Timo winced.

“No, it’s not that.That love spell was …” Timo managed a slow inhale, then exhale.“One of the best things that’s ever happened to me.”

“Are you hungover?”

“I certainly hope so.If I’m not, someone broke into my home this morning and pounded my head with a mallet for several hours, yet I have no memory of the event.”

“Huh.Alright, go on.So I did you a favour.Is that what you said?”

“Is it?”Timo took a drink.“I guess I did.”He squinted into the mug, only vaguely aware of Julian beyond the candlelight.“I’ve never felt like this about anyone.I’ve been in love before, but relationships were always a battle.”

“Sure.Why not?”

“In a good way.Where’s the interest without competition?Where’s the fun without a challenge?It’s different with Noah.I’mdifferent.I’ve never been obsessed with anyone like this.I’ve never lain awake at night trying to come up with new ways to make someone else happy.I’ve never cared about someone more than …more than … anything.More than my life.”Timo swished his cup, staring into it.“The irony is, I’ve also never failed this spectacularly at anything.”

“Because he left you?”

Timo said nothing.

“That’s now why you want the spell lifted?”Julian asked.“So you can walk away without feeling like you’ve come in second place?Wash your hands of the whole thing with no regrets?”

Timo shut his eyes.“No.It’s not that.I want the spell lifted because it’s hurting him.It’s been hurting him from the moment it started.It’s made him miserable, placed him in unfair and harmful situations, and ultimately triggered post-trauma responses and huge amounts of stress for him, all thanks to me.”Timo clenched and relaxed his jaw a few times before going on.“I’ve been the problem the whole time.He should be far from me.He needs someone who’s a better fit, who listens to him, an introvert, a better age match, someone who will respect him without trying to push him to be someone he’s not and show him compassion without judgement for all that he’s been through.”

He took another breath and looked again into his cup, dimly catching reflected light from window and candles, the surface fractured and jittery.

“Please.”Timo swallowed.“I don’t blame you for holding a grudge.I was rude and disrespectful when we met at the wedding and I’m sorry.I’m sorry I offended you and that I criticised your convictions when I don’t even know you.That was wrong.But it wasn’t Noah who did it.Please remove the spell for his sake.If you don’t, I don’t know how not to go after him, to beg him to come back, follow him to the States, and that’s the last thing he needs.”

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