Page 15 of Home Safe

“No!” Jason cuts me off again, stomping his foot for emphasis.

Maybe it’s a mistake, but I decide to give Jason what he’s asking for this time. “All right—how about we turn on some music and you can chill in here for a little bit while I go clean up the dishes? I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me, and I’ll come back to check on you when I’m done loading the dishwasher.”

Jason shrugs one shoulder. I tell the smart device to start the playlist Jason created over winter break, and I retreat from the room. Putting away the leftover salad, loading the dishes into the dishwasher, and wiping down the table becomes my form of regulation. My own emotions are running on overdrive—mainly anxiety and crippling self-doubt.

When I finish tidying up the kitchen, I slowly walk back up to Jason’s room. Peering through the doorway, I see him sitting on his bed with a logic puzzle book in his lap. Blowing out a sigh of relief, I knock gently on the door frame. “Hey there. Just checking in to see how it’s going.”

“I’m stuck on this part of the puzzle. Can you help me?” Jason asks.

“Sure, I can,” I reply, moving to sit next to Jason on the bed. I’m too afraid of restarting the cycle to bring up his emotional response or theday at school again. I help him with the logic puzzle until it’s time for him to take a shower and get ready for bed.

We sit together on his bed to read the next chapter ofThe Prisoner of Azkaban. Jason starts yawning halfway through, so I suggest finishing the rest tomorrow. He agrees, and I squeeze him in a hug.

Looking into his piercing green eyes, I say, “You know, Jason, I love youallthe time. No matter what.”

A conflicted look passes over his face. “You do?”

I nod and say, “I do.” He still looks conflicted, so I ask, “Do you know what I mean when I say ‘I love you’ to you?”

When Jason shrugs, I continue. “I don’t just mean I like you, or I think you’re a really cool kid. Even though Idolike you and youarea really cool kid. It means that you’re really, really important to me, and I choose you as my biggest priority.” His eyes widen, and I squeeze his shoulders again. “It means I’m with you one hundred percent, forever. I’m yours, and you’re mine, no matter what happens. You and me together—that’s home. When I say ‘I love you,’ it means you’re stuck with me forever, okay?” I finish with a teasing smile.

Jason vigorously nods his head. “Okay, yeah.” He wraps his arms around my waist and hugs tightly. “Thanks for making my favorite dinner tonight.”

I know we didn’t really address the roots of everything that transpired today—the root of everything that’s transpired in his life. But that’s going to take longer than one conversation over dinner.

“You’re welcome, Jason,” I murmur, kissing the top of his head. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“G’night,” he says before burrowing down under his gray comforter.

Thankfully, after a couple of weeks here, Jason realized he likes sleeping with the bedroom door closed and sound machine on, so I quietly pull the door shut as I exit. Shuffling out to the living room, I collapse on the couch.

Did I do that right? He calmed down, but we never really talked about what he was feeling or how to handle it better next time. Did I chicken out by leaving him alone? Or was that what he needed? What about next time?

I close my eyes and rub my temples. Sitting up, I decide to text Samantha.

ME

Hi, Samantha. I wanted to let you know that Jason had a rough first day back to school today. I really don’t want to burden you, so don’t worry about coming over on Wednesday. I appreciate your offer so much, though!

SAMANTHA

I swear you’re not a burden, Danae! Wait and see how the next two days go. If it doesn’t seem like Jason would be ready to be away from you, that’s one thing. But if you’re only worried about his potential behavior, I already told you that doesn’t scare me. So if he seems ok with it on Wed, I’ll still come over!

ME

Are you sure?

SAMANTHA

Girl, stop questioning me! I’M SURE. You deserve to go to book club!

ME

Okay, I’ll update you on Wednesday.

Chapter eight

Griffin

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