“Griff’s agent. He’s an annoyance, so I try to ignore him as much as possible,” she says, and I hear the change in her voice as she switches to speaker. “That’s not good.”
“What’s not good?” I clarify.
“Have you not googled yourself?” Samantha asks. “That wasn’t your first thought when there were a bunch of reporters around?”
“No! I’ve never had a reason to google myself!” I exclaim, frustration rising again. I switch the phone to speaker and type my name into the browser search bar. My screen is immediately filled with news articles with headlines like “Who’s the Single Mom Who Stole the Wizard of Defense’s Heart?” I’m reluctant to give them engagement clicks, but I have to see what’s being spread.
There’s a zoomed-in photo of Griffin and me in the suite at the Baltimore game. It looks like we were in the background of a photo a fan was taking of other people seated in the outdoor section of the suite space, but we were visible behind the glass. Griffin’s arm is around my shoulders, and we’re smiling at each other in a way that implies a more-than-acquaintances relationship.
The original photo was posted to social media last night, and apparently reporters can manage to dig up an entire dossier of information about a person in less than twenty-four hours. Including my pending adoption case with Jason and “rumored” (but accurate) details about his biological parents, despite the fact that his case files should be sealed.
“I think I might throw up,” I say, falling to my knees, my forehead dropping to the floor. I barely hear Samantha’s voice from the phone next to me as my blood makes theswooshingsound like a seashell when you hold it over your ear.
“Does Griffin know?” I ask, eyes closed against my fists on the floor. I still don’t know anything that Samantha said over the past indeterminate number of seconds.
“He can’t possibly know or he would have called me. And you. The game starts in thirty minutes, but I’ll catch him before. I can get an emergency message in to him,” Samantha replies. “Danae, I’m so sorry.”
“What if they take Jason away from me?” I whimper. My body falls to one side, curled in the fetal position. “What if the invasion of privacy is considered a strike against me? What if they think I’m not taking motherhood seriously if I jumped into a relationship with a professional athlete a month after Jason moved in with me? What if the media won’t leave us alone and Jason spirals more than ever? What if the judge thinks I’m unfit to be a mother if I couldn’t stop this from happening?” Each question tumbles over the previous one, a torrent of panic bubbling out.
“Danae, stop it,” Samantha says firmly. “Jason is home with you now, yes?”
“Yes,” I say.
“Then you need to pull it together right now so you don’t scare him. You hear me?”
Rolling onto my back, I confirm, “I hear you.”
“We’re going to figure this out. I’m going to hang up so I can get ahold of Griffin before he goes out on the field. But you are going to be okay. Jason is going to be okay. We will never let anyone take him away from you, okay?” Her voice is the calm, commanding wind to scatter the fog of anxiety suffocating me.
“Okay. Yes, okay,” I say, sitting up. “We’re going to be okay.”
For the first time in my life, I voluntarily turn the channel to a baseball game.
I tell Jason he can have unlimited tablet time as long as he stays in his room with the door closed, a bribe I may pay for later. I jump when myphone rings in my hand. My stomach becomes an acrobat when I see that it’s Sandra, Jason’s social worker, returning my call. Swallowing hard, I answer.
“Hey, Danae, I got your voicemail and looked up the articles you mentioned,” she says. My heart is pounding and frozen at once, disabling my vocal cords. Luckily, she continues speaking without pausing for me to say anything. “I’ll admit, this is a situation I’ve never dealt with before, which is really saying something.” There’s a level of amusement in her voice that slows my panicked thoughts.
“Is this going to hurt my adoption case in any way? That’s all I need to know.” I squeeze my eyes shut as I wait for her answer.
“I really don’t think so,” Sandra says. “Although it’s unfortunate that Jason’s privacy was invaded—and you know I’ll help fight on that front to get these taken down—it’s not like you’re being abusive or neglectful. I mean, this is a genuine relationship you have with Griffin West, correct?”
“Yes! Absolutely, yes,” I exclaim. “We initially met through the baseball camp, but it’s a real relationship with real feelings.”
“Good, yeah. It’s not like you’ve used Jason to get to Griffin or to gain media attention,” Sandra says. My stomach flips again at the thought that someone might misconstrue the situation that way. “I’ll do everything I can to make sure that there are no hiccups here. But I honestly don’t see this being an issue. In fact, I still think we’ll be able to expedite the waiting period and move up the official adoption date, if you want that.”
“Yes! I do! Please let me know anything I can do on that front. And thanks for getting back to me so quickly,” I say with a grateful sigh of relief.
“Will do,” Sandra replies. Her tone changes as she asks, “The Wizard of Defense, huh? I thought you didn’t like baseball?”
“Yeah, I don’t,” I say.
Sandra is quiet for a beat before she prods, “Buuut?”
“But I do like Griffin. Never saw that coming,” I say.
“Good for you,” Sandra replies, and I hear the grin in her voice. “Don’t worry yourself about this—I’ll let you know if there are any updates, okay? No news is good news on this front.”
Hanging up, I drop my hands to my knees and breathe deeply. One kernel of anxiety about this situation has been put to rest, at least halfway. My phone immediately rings again, and Kara’s picture displays on the screen.