"You can be charming when you want." I start to lift my hand to touch his cheek but stop myself.
“Touch me.” I let my fingers trail down his jaw before I cup it. I can feel the roughness of his beard trying to come through. He must have shaved a few hours ago because normally by this time of day he’d have a five o'clock shadow.
Warren leans into my touch.
“Holy shit,” Cosima whispers loudly. Her eyes are wide, fixed on us. I drop my hand. “Sorry.” She sinks back in her chair. Z chuckles, draping his arm over the back of her chair.
I can sense the shift in Warren next to me, a cold wall coming down hard all around him, taking away all the warmth he was giving me.
Chapter Fourteen
WARREN
It’s impossible to be near her and not touch her. I know she hates the attention. In my years of watching Tova, I have observed that she can be shy until she gets to know someone. I hate that I have to put her through this spectacle. That’s what this is. It’s all for a fucking show.
We cut the cake, and this time she feeds me a bite. I have never been one for sweets, but the buttercream of the icing tastes different when Tova brings another bite to my mouth. I greedily take it, wanting to make her happy.
"Do you want to leave after our dance?" I ask Tova.
My father, I'm sure, would prefer that I make a few rounds to mingle and be courteous, but at this point I couldn’t care less. I'm still pissed that he'd invited some of these people.
Tova looks like a damn dream. Her wedding dress is breathtaking. Her shoulders are bare, except for delicate straps that sweep across her upper arms. The top part appears to be a corset with tiny buttons in the back. It molds to her body, accentuating her curves. The creamy white lace with lace flowers that go all the way down to the floor gives it a timeless look. It’s as though it were made with her in mind. When she walks, I swear she looks as though she’s floating.
I'm not sure how I managed to prevent myself from walking down the aisle and meeting her midway. Yes, I do. All the peering eyes, all pretending to be friends when they are not. I also wanted to allow her father to walk her down.
I don't know if having her father walk her down the aisle was a dream of hers. I know she's close to her parents. This isn't the wedding she wanted, but I could try and make it bearable for her. This whole day has been bittersweet.
My fingers brush up her back, grazing the buttons of the dress. Will she need my help taking it off? I see Tova’s father heading toward us.
“Need an answer, little mouse. Your father is closing in. Do I tell him to fuck off?”
“No.” Her lips turn up into a smirk. “Be nice.”
“I only have to be nice to you.”
“Well, be nice for me.” She peers at me through her lashes. “Please.”
“For you,” I agree. “Corbin,” I greet him when he reaches us on the dance floor.
“Would you mind if I cut in?” I do mind.
“No, Dad. I’d love that,” Tova says before I can say anything. I nod reluctantly, letting her go. I don’t get far before my mom is asking for a dance. I do it because it will not only make her happy but it will also piss my father off. He’s waiting to get me alone to have a few words. I’m not interested in talking shop tonight.
“Are you enjoying the wedding?” my mom asks with a coy smile. She knows I’m not, but I know how to rub elbows when I must. Tonight I’m finding I don’t have my normal tolerance. If anything, I’m growing more irritated as the seconds tick by. Even when I’m not near Tova, they all still watch her. It makes me uneasy.
“I’d enjoy it more if it ended.”
Mom laughs. “Soon.” She beams up at me. “You need to relax. Everything is going to be fine.” Her expression turns serious. “If you focus on everything else around you and not her, you'll lose her.”
“She’s all I can focus on,” I say before I can think better of it.
“I know.” She pats my chest. “I only want you to be mindful. She’s sweeter than I was. I grew up in this world.”
“And that is theveryproblem.” I keep my voice low, not wanting anyone to overhear us. Tova has a sweetness to her that I don’t want her to lose. If this lifestyle hardened her in any way, it would break me. I would never want that for her. That’s the reason I stayed away to begin with.
“You have always been different, War. It worried me.” I knew that. I was far too observant as a child. “You can be so much like your father at times, and at others, nothing like him at all.”
“Should I be offended?” I’m not, but I want to know what she is getting at.