Page 127 of Forgive Me, Father

FORTY-ONE

THE LITTLE RUNAWAY

It’s been morethan a week since Alfonso walked out of the house, leaving an eerie silence behind him.

During the day, my mother stays close, guiding me through the motions, helping me wash, and dressing wounds I don’t want to look at.

She’s gentle, but there’s something behind her eyes—something I can’t quite place—like she’s trying to fix me while knowing that she can’t.

Every night, she gives me those damn pills Alfonso would never approve of.I never cared for them before, but now, the relief they bring is almost unbearable.When I swallow them, I slip into a deep sleep, like falling into a void of peace I hadn’t known I needed.It’s blissful—almost too blissful.

When I wake, the world feels slightly less like a nightmare.My thoughts came back, clearer, at least for a while.I didn’t know if it was the drugs or the absence of Alfonso’s presence, but the fog that clouded my mind for so long began to lift, just a little.

I also didn’t dream anymore and that was the greatest gift anyone could give me.

My father was also here.I feared at night that Kai would return.Every time I closed my eyes, I would relive everything over again.

I felt each cut he made on my body.The scars were there to remind me every day.But at least when I slept with the pills in my system, he was gone.

I would never get rid of the marks that Kai left on my body.Not the physical ones and not the emotional ones.

A knock came at the door and my father entered.

I was playing chess with my mother on my bed.She loved chess and taught us from a young age.

It helped with a lot of things in life.I wish it could help with trauma too.

“Look who came back.”Milo entered with his hands in his pockets.I could immediately see the change in him.He looked ten years older than when I last saw him.A smile fanned across his face when he neared the two of us on the bed.He kissed my mother on her head.Then, he hugged Em, who was sitting in the corner chair reading a book.

She gasped, staring at the same thing we were all trying hard not to draw attention to.

Tears blurred my eyes.

“Camilla,” Milo spoke.I wiped my cheek as a tear trailed down, my first since my time with Kai, and my gaze flickered to his.

A hundred kills.That was what the one under his eye meant.

My father bore the same mark beneath his eye, and so did my uncle.But beyond them, few in our family—few in our tier—carried it.

Not even Alfonso’s brothers carried them.

“Dry your tears.It’s time that those who are not with the traditions start to fear us again.Nobody would touch my family and live to tell the tale.”

“You killed him?”

He stared at me in silence, assessing me before he replied.“He will die soon.I promise.”

He kissed me on top of my head.There was something in his voice, something he wasn’t telling me but I couldn’t put my finger on it.I didn’t want to know either if I was being honest.I’m not even sure knowing that Kai was dead would even bring me peace.

* * *

Twenty-four hours later, Alfonso returned.

He barged through my door and chased my sister and mom out like they had no business there.

The suffocating presence he brought with him clamped around my lungs.

I wish he could leave me alone.

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