Page 49 of Taking Adalisa

I blink several times as his words register. He isn’t talking about me wanting to escape. So that means he doesn’t know about my plan.

“I wish you had told me.” He tilts his head to the right side a little. “I wish I had realized it sooner.”

I open and close my mouth several times, not knowing what to say. I was sure he was going to be mad at me for trying toescape. I thought he was on to me, but he wasn’t, and now I don’t know what to do. My brain is trying hard to catch up, but it’s like it’s short-circuited.

“Adalisa.” His voice is smooth and low.“Come back to me.”

“Hmm?” I look into his eyes.

“There you are,” he whispers. “What were you just thinking?”

“I don’t know.” Tears form in my eyes. “Everything is a big, jumbled mess in my mind right now.”

He holds my face, his thumb rubbing my cheek every couple of minutes. “Just take a deep breath in, hold it, and slowly let it out. Good girl. Let’s do it one more time. Deep breath in. Hold it. Now, slowly let it out. Such a good girl for me. Do you feel better?”

I nod and lean into his hand. It should be a crime to make me feel this good with a simple touch. It should be illegal.

“Now, why you didn’t tell me you didn’t like to eat food that you haven’t prepared?” he asks.

How does he know?

“I’ve been watching you. I know things about you,” he whispers. “Did you eat the food I had delivered that my ma made?”

I look away from him. The food smelled so good, but I didn’t eat it. I wanted to so badly, but after his mother sided with him and told me not to fight and just give in, I knew I couldn’t. What if she had put something in it? I wasn’t going to take a chance on that.

“Adalisa, it’s all right. I’m not going to get angry with you,” Matthias gently says. “If anything, I should be saying sorry to you. I had no idea you didn’t like to eat food you hadn’t prepared yourself.”

No one does. Even Margery doesn’t know it. I’ve kept it from her for years, and I want to keep it that way. There areonly a select few people who I trust enough to eat from without thinking, and most of them are dead now.

“Come on, Addy. You’re okay. You can speak freely,” Matthias encourages me.

“I didn’t eat it.” I look away briefly. “I couldn’t, no matter how good it smelled.”

“Can you eat it if you watch someone preparing it?” Matthias asks.

I’ve never tried it, and I really don’t want to. To know that I could blink and he could put something in it. Or he could change some seasoning to something I haven’t tried before.

“I don’t think so,” I whisper, shuddering at all the.

“Where did this come from?” Matthias rubs his thumb across my cheek as we stare into each other’s eyes.

I yank my head out of his touch and shake my head. I can’t talk about this.

“Adalisa, you’re safe here,” he whispers. “I will keep you safe.”

“No,” I force out.

“What happened to make you this anxious about food?” He keeps asking questions.

Tears prick my eyes as I stare at him. I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t want to relive it.

“You’re okay.” Matthias pulls me into his embrace. “But we’re going to work through this.”

I shake my head against his chest. What if I don’t want to work through this?

“Can you tell me if this has always been a thing or if something happened to cause it?” Matthias is persistent.

I suck in a deep breath and whisper, “Something happened.”

---