Page 9 of Taking Adalisa

“It’s been eighteen years,” I repeat.

Her shoulders slump. “Eighteen years, and yet it feels like yesterday. I don’t know how she’s feeling, but she was a lot closerto him than I was, and I was really close to him. If I can’t look at myself in the mirror without thinking about Ethan, I don’t want to think about what Bonnie is going through.”

I sigh. “Shit. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it like that. Eighteen years is a long time, but you lost someone you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with. I shouldn’t have said that.”

She gives me a small smile. “It’s okay. I know what you meant. I’m not mad. It’s just hard sometimes.”

Now I feel like a jerk for saying that. I’ve never lost anyone like Margery has, yet I’ve just insulted her for taking so long to get over him.

“No, it’s not okay. I shouldn’t have done that. It was insensitive of me.” I hold my hand in the air. “I really shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Adalisa. I promise it’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it badly. It has been eighteen years, and while some people might be over it and only grieve the person for a short time, I’m not there yet. I think about him constantly. The love we had for each other was like nothing I’ve ever encountered before, and I’m sad I may never be able to feel that again.” She gives me a small smile. “But I have to have faith that I might, or my life is going to be pretty depressing.”

I grab Margery’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “You will find love again, I promise. There is someone out there for you. Someone you will love as much as you loved Ethan. Will they replace him? No, but they will stand right next to him in your heart.”

Margery wipes away tears from her eyes. “I hope so.”

The bell rings, signaling we have a customer.

“Welcome! If you need anything, let us know. We’ll gladly help you.” Margery raises her voice.

“Is there an Adalisa who works here?” a man calls out.

My whole body freezes as I look up. Is Matthias here? He can’t possibly be; that isn’t his voice. Whenever I think back to helping those guys, I remember their voices were the same.

“She’s right here,” Margery says for me. “What can we help you with?”

“I have a package for her.” The delivery man walks over to us and holds out a small package.

I take him in, trying to find similarities with Matthias, but he doesn’t look anything like him. He’s much shorter than Matthias.

“Thank you,” I gently reply, grabbing the package.

I look down at the box in my hand, not wanting to open it here. I know it’s from Matthias.

“Who’s it from?” Margery asks once the courier leaves.

“An old friend,” I lie. “I wasn’t expecting this for another week. I thought it was coming to my house, not work.”

“Is it something bad?”

I shake my head. “No, it’s not.” Another lie.

“Well, open it then,” Margery urges me. “Open it and show me what it is.”

I hold it against my chest. “I don’t think I want to right now. It’s really private if I remember correctly. He wouldn’t want me to show it to anyone else.”

“What is so private? Is it his semen? Or maybe some dick pictures?” Margery chuckles. “It can’t bethatprivate.”

I have no idea what it is, and that worries me. What is Matthias sending me now?

“Come on, I promise if I ever meet thisfriendthat I won’t tell anyone. You can trust me.” She winks.

“I do trust you, but I don’t want to betray his confidence.” I look at her.

“Did he tell you that you couldn’t show anyone?” Margery asks.

“No, he didn’t,” I sigh.

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