Page 179 of Famine

Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. It feels like I might be.

I take a deep breath and finally admit to him what I haven’t even fully admitted to myself.

“I love you.” My heart is hammering away. “I don’t know when I began to, and I’m really, really upset that I do—”

“Stop, Ana,” Famine says fiercely. There are unshed tears in his eyes.

“But I love you. So much. And I always will. I want you to know that,” I say, “in case—”

“Stop.” Famine looks angry that he can’t make words wither away like he can plants. “I will kill the whole goddamn world if you don’t stop.”

I press my chapped lips together.

Once he sees that I’m not going to continue, the Reaper exhales, leaning his head back against his chair to stare up at the ceiling, one of his legs jiggling.

“When I told you I liked stories,” he says out of nowhere, “there was one in particular that I never told you.”

I give him a confused look. Fever and exhaustion are tugging me towards sleep, but I force my eyes to stay open.

“The night you saved me,” Famine says, looking back down at me, “when you fell asleep, you spoke.

“You said an Angelic word, one you should have been unable to pronounce.”

“Angelic?” I echo. “Is that your native language?”

He nods.

“What was the word?” I say, curious. I have no memory of this at all.

“Gipiwawewut.”

I close my eyes as I feel that word wash over me, drawing out goosebumps. For a moment, I don’t simply hear it, Ifeelit.

Forgiveness.

“Forgive me, Ana,” he says. “I know I have wronged you. Your family, your friends, your life—I took that from you. I didn’t understand, but I’m beginning to, and I’m sorry, so sorry.

“Please, forgive me.”

I give him a small smile.“I do,” I say softly. “I love you and I forgive you …”

I swear for a moment he looks petrified. Scary, merciless Famine, petrified.

I settle back against the bed and close my eyes, taking a deep breath as sleep begins to tug me under.

Here’s to hoping I’ll wake up again.

Famine

There was a moment of peace in Ana’s eyes when I spoke in Angelic. So as soon as she falls asleep, I clasp her clammy hand in mine and begin speaking to her in my natural tongue.

“I never could’ve imagined that I would love the slope of your nose or the space between your eyes. I know you are considered lovely by human standards, but I don’t have human standards, and Ana, you are the most exquisite thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. Even when you sleep with your mouth open. Even when you yell at me—especially then because I love seeing your fire.”

I bring her hand to my lips and press a kiss to her knuckles.

“You were made from the earth,” I whisper to her skin,“I can feel the universe moving through you, and yet you are something else unto yourself.

“I never wanted to love a human. I fought you with everything I had. You were everything I shouldn’t want. But then, your compassion pierced me deeper than any blade.

---