Page 116 of With Us

The city had been my dream. I loved looking around, no matter where I was, and seeing so muchlife. So much world. Working so hard had been worth it to live surrounded by it all.

I couldn’t afford to live in the city if I was only working at Java Brew, especially with the way things had been going. Staying with Theo in the suburbs had shown me I could be happy there. There was something to be said about quiet nights and a view of the stars, even though I knew I wouldn’t be living in a mini mansion. I was used to tiny apartments.

But I loved Theo.

I was still whole; I’d never need another person to complete me.

However, when I tried to imagine not being with Theo, I felt an ache so deep in my soul, it made it hard to breathe.

Loneliness surrounded me at night, keeping me up for hours. When I’d eventually fall asleep, it was restless, haunted by my memories. A gentle touch. His low whispers. My eyes would snap open, but it was only me and my cruel dreams.

Out of options, and not sure I was ready to walk away, I’d decided to do a one-eighty. I’d pretend I was fine, force a smile, kill ‘em with kindness, and hope that someone, anyone, would take pity on me and tell me the truth.

At the very least, it would give me time to figure out what I wanted to do.

Pushing Luc meant I’d already failed at my plan, but I was determined to keep trying.

“Don’t,” Luc ordered, snapping me from my thoughts.

Confused, I looked back up onto the porch where he stood, his arms crossed. “What?”

“I know what you’re planning. Drop it.”

Usually, Luc was all smiles and relaxed. Even with Theo in prison, he hadn’t seemed to sweat it.

At that moment, though, there was no hint of a smile. No warmth. Gone was the teasing lightness from earlier.

“What do you mean?” I asked, wondering how much he knew.

Before he could answer, a car pulling in grabbed his attention. I didn’t bother to look until I heard the doors close and Rachelle’s voice.

“We brought pizza!” she called, happy as could be.

“I’ve got to go,” Luc said to me. “Rachelle and Lou wanted to come for dinner, and Ben is here, too.”

“I don’t need babysitters,” I asserted, even though I didn’t really want an empty house, either.

Luc didn’t say anything to me, yet his raised brows made it clear he was suspicious.

Rachelle and Lou walked past me on the way to the steps, each pausing to kiss my cheek as they went. They greeted Luc before heading inside. Not wanting to be rude to them, I climbed the steps, following after.

Hmm. Rachelle likes me. Maybe she’ll tell me something.

“Not happening,” Luc whispered in my ear from behind me, reading my thoughts. “You’d have better luck getting info from me than you would her.”

My steps stumbled before stopping. My hopes flew away, taking my appetite with them. I looked at the stairwell, tempted to just lock myself in the guest room.

“You coming?” Rachelle asked from the entryway of the kitchen, a stack of plates in her hands. Her eyes were sharp on me, but still warm and sympathetic. “I brought the stuff to make those blood orange drinks.”

You barely made it a half hour before messing up the plan. Focus! It shouldn’t be too hard to put everything out of your mind for a night and pretend to enjoy yourself.

Forcing a smile, I nodded at her. “The pizza smells amazing.”

I ignored Luc’s shoulder squeeze of approval.

???

Full of delicious pizza and strong drinks, I locked the door behind Lou and Rachelle. The night had been tense, though everyone had acted like everything was fine. I hadn’t been rude, but I also hadn’t bothered to carry out my acting plan. It took less than five minutes for me to see Luc had been right.

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