Page 118 of With Us

“Told you to drop it,” Luc said, leaning casually against the doorframe. His body may have appeared relaxed, but I wasn’t fooled.

“Where are the keys?” I asked.

“Give it time, Dahlia,” he said, not answering me.

“I’ve given it time! I’m even more in the dark now than I was before!”

“Be patient.”

“No!” Pushing my hair out of my face, I took some calming breaths but it didn’t help. My heart hammered in my chest, and I couldn’t seem to get enough air into my lungs. The darkness around me pushed in. “I have to go. I’m going to call a cab.”

“With what phone?” My stomach sank as he pulled my cell from his pocket.

“I’ll walk,” I shot back. It was late and dark, and I had the directional sense of a sleep deprived toddler with a paper bag on their head. But I’d do it.

Luc just shook his head, shifting to the side slightly so he was blocking the door.

My frustration mixed with the betrayal and hurt that swirled inside me. The letter from Theo had ripped open the wound of missing him, while giving menothingto help it heal. He knew he was wrong, and yet he offered no answers or explanations beyond the mention of an eventual conversation.

Would I even get the truth then? Or would it be more ‘Don’t worry about it’ or ‘I’ll tell you later’ each time I asked?

Panic seized my chest at the thought of being kept in the dark forever.

And I lost it.

My sobs rocked my body, even as I held onto my anger. “I’vetried! I’ve been patient. You keep promising me an explanation, but I’m more confused than ever. What, am I just supposed to sit here and wait? Fuck that! I’m done.” Even in the dark, I could see his eyes flair at my words, but I was beyond caring. “I chugged along like the good girlfriend, sure he’d clear up this whole clusterfuck of a misunderstanding. But instead he wrote me a letter that gave me nothing!”

Luc’s voice was soft, his words carefully chosen. “He can’t give you anything because they read his mail.”

Each time I got any sort of answer, it only brought up new questions.

“What does that mean? Why would it matter if they read it?” I shook my head. “No. It doesn’t matter. I won’t sit here being kept in the dark any longer. Now move.”

“You have to trust him.”

Of everything he could’ve said to calm me, that was probably the worst.

“Like he trusted me?” I yelled. “Like he was open and honest, trusting that I loved him enough to make it work?” My voice cracked, my resolve and heart shattering to pieces right along with it. “I love him, and heliedto me.”

Sympathy softened Luc’s expression as he reached for me, pulling me into a comforting hug. He seemed to war with himself, his body tense as he sighed before speaking. “He loves you, and he wants you to know everything. Butheneeds to be the one to tell you, and he can’t right now.”

“Why not? Why all the lies and secrets? He gave me everything for the first time in my whole life, and now I feel like it’s being snatched from me. And I’m scared.” My tears continued, weakening my already tired soul. “I’m so scared.”

Luc didn’t respond, but he held me close as I cried. When my exhausted body would’ve slumped to the floor, he helped me to the room I shared with Theo. As he left, closing the door behind him, I didn’t bother to say anything more.

I changed into one of Theo’s tees and crawled into his side of the bed. Holding his pillow to me, I couldn’t stop my mind from trying to analyze the letter.

Finally falling into a fitful sleep, my nightmares were a welcome reprieve from my reality.

???

I felt like I’d just fallen asleep when a quiet knock woke me.

“Dahlia?” Luc called through the door.

Dread squeezed my heart when I saw it was barely six in the morning. I didn’t have to work Java Brew and wasn’t planning on getting out of bed. At all, basically. Netflix and I were going to have a date like old times.

“Yeah?” I said, already halfway across the room. Opening the door, I was relieved to see Luc looking relaxed.

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