Page 127 of With Us

“Good point.”

Conversation took off, controlled mostly by Rachelle and Tina. Since Mar had taken to using some creative methods to try to get out of school and chores, it was a highly entertaining afternoon.

The topic of Theo was pointedly avoided. When Tina mentioned him briefly in a Mar story, her words were carefully chosen. There was something different about the way everyone reacted to his name. It was almost…

Respectful with an edge of trepidation.

Whether that was directed at him, my reaction to his name, or something else, I wasn’t sure. However, like Ben and Luc, his family seemed to have their orders about what to discuss with me, and they were sticking to them.

When more than a couple empty bottles of wine lined the table, Tina took out her cell. “I should text Gabe. He took Mar and Kat out, and I get the feeling if I wait much longer, there won’t be any room left in the car for me.” She looked up from her phone at me. “Mar is a stubborn and mischievous child for everyone else, but she’s a perfect angel for her dad. Total daddy’s girl. And he’s been crazy about her since he saw her on the sonogram, so the feeling is mutual. It’s beautiful. But it also means she has more clothes and toys than any kid needs.”

Julie snorted in an attempt to hold in her laughter.

“Hey,” Tina said, her smile reminding me of her daughter’s. “I don’t know what you’re laughing about. You know Uncle Gabe loves Kat. And they’re near the American Girl store. How many dolls is she up to?”

“Oh, God,” Julie groaned. “And she’s had her eye on this ridiculous horse and stable set.”

“He’ll call it an early birthday present. I think that means we’re covered until she’s one hundred.”

“And then some.”

We all stood and made our way to pick up our paintings.

“I’m going to use the restroom before I go,” I said, setting mine back down.

After using the bathroom, I opened the stall and yelped.

Julie was standing near the sink, not making any move to use one of the other empty stalls.

“You scared me,” I said, moving to wash my hands. I caught her eyes in the mirror. “What’s up?”

“When you know… everything, come talk to me. Don’t flip out or let your emotions take control. I know what it’s like to come in from the outside, I can help. At the very least, I can listen.”

“I’m going to see him tomorrow,” I shared. I’d been dying to say something to them. The more drinks I had in me, the closer to the tip of my tongue the words had gotten.

I felt alone.

I wasn’t used to it anymore.

And it sucked.

Solitude wasn’t my defense like it had been when I was growing up. It wasn’t my choice like it had been when I was trying to stay focused.

I’d made my cold and lonely bed, but I’d been lucky enough to share it with someone I loved.

“Good,” she said with a nod. “Call me after.”

“Wait!” I called out as she turned toward the door. “What’s going on? Everyone else is acting like it’s no big deal, which is freaking me out—”

“We’ll talk after.” She squeezed my arm and left me to finish washing up.

For the first time in weeks, there was a flicker of light in the darkness. It wasn’t in my reach yet, but I just had to play it carefully. Julie was such a close part of the family, it’d been easy to forget she’d been an outsider once, too. I wasn’t getting my hopes up that she’d spill all the details, but I’d settle for anything at that point.

Once I was clean and random splatters of paint were gone from my face, I walked outside just in time to say goodbye to Julie and Tina.

Both were riding home with Gabe, and two excitedly talking girls.

And at least two horse toys.

---