Page 161 of With Us

“Yes,” he repeated, not looking the least bit ashamed.

“I’m not your puppet!” I gestured down to myself, but ended up twirling. “I’m not a doll for you to dress how you like and parade around.”

“I didn’t dress you.”

I shook my head at his denial. “For our entire relationship, you’ve had me tied to strings as you arrange things the wayyouwant them. I’m just a prop.”

“Dahlia, I don’t control your strings.”

“What?” I asked, a force trying to push me out of the restaurant.

“Look up.”

Following the strings to where they were tied to wooden sticks, I saw the world. Abstract and blended, my past and the world shone from my own eyes. I may have had control of the strings, but those both heavily determined how I moved myself.

“I’m confused.” I looked at Theo. “You said you made me keep walking.”

“I only have one string.” He held it and tugged. My heart jolted at the motion, my dress pulling out slightly at my chest. “Anything I manipulated, I did to protect this.”

I turned away, my head swimming. I ached at my joints because I’d been trying to pull away from my strings. My skin burned and felt like it was going to tear.

“Can’t you see that you’re lost?”

I whipped around to look at Theo. Only instead of the restaurant, I was back in Java Brew. Beans crunched under my worn-out flats. My thin black pants and tee were stained with bits of coffee grounds and syrups.

It wasn’t the change in scenery, nor the clothes, that hit me hardest. Bone deep exhaustion nearly dragged my body down. It’d been so long since I’d felt it. The weight of the world landed on my overworked shoulders, as did the acute awareness it was me and only me carrying the weight. I had no help. No safety net.

No partner.

All of the infinitesimal blips in my timeline were mine alone, not shared with anyone.

Being alone wasn’t the worst, though. I’d experienced that.

It was knowing what I’d lost.

What I was giving up.

Theo’s voice pulled me from drowning in regret. “Can’t you see that you’re lost without me?”

“What?” I asked.

He gestured, not to my shabby surroundings, but to my heart. To my head. “Can’t you see that you’re lost without me?”

I took another step, the sound of beans crunching nearly deafening. My head swam before everything became clear and quiet.

“Excuse me.”

The deep voice grabbed my attention. Looking over, I saw Theo give me a polite smile.

“Can I have a large coffee?” He pulled a wallet from his nice slacks.

Whoa, déjà vu.

“Miss?” he said when I didn’t respond. His lips curved into an amused smirk.

“Theo?” I asked, handing him a coffee cup.

His brows lowered. “I’m sorry, have we met?” Setting the fifty on the counter, he gave me a strange look he tried to cover with another polite smile. “Have a good afternoon.”