Page 199 of With Us

I shook my head.

“You don’t,” Niall confirmed. “He made the Irish see that if they wanted a war, it wasn’t going to end well for them. A tentative truce was called and sides were reconstructed. From that day, I was an Amato. Ben and Leia had big dreams about him being a chef, but he stopped cooking. I tried to get him to follow through, but he had a lot of anger and guilt on his shoulders. He viewed his parents’ death as his fault, and no amount of reassurance changed that. When he was about to go down the same dark path I had, Theo brought him in and kept him close.”

It was gut-wrenching what he’d been through, and tears streamed steadily down my face.

Niall’s voice turned cold, his nostrils flared, and he sneered in disgust. “But he threw it away because he felt like what was done wasn’t enough. He let grief and vengeance ruin his life instead of appreciating everything that’d been sacrificed for him.”

“You’re both wrong. I’m sorry about all you went through. Really, I truly am. But Ben wouldn’t turn on Theo.” I shook my head, nearly rolling my eyes at them. “The rat tried to have me kidnapped. Ben wouldn’t have done that.”

“He told us,” Niall said softly. “He got addresses from my GPS to set Theo up.”

“Why? After all that, why would he turn on you?” My voice grew louder until I was practically shouting. I paced, feeling again like my world was shifting.

Niall looked at Theo, waiting for his nod of approval before answering. “Because he wanted a war. If Theo was out of the way for a while, the Irish would move in on his territory. They’d already started to plan, but Theo got out too soon. He knew Amato wouldn’t let that happen, and we’d destroy them. Donnellys have numbers and ruthlessness, but Amatos are loyal and organized. They wouldn’t have stood a chance, and Ben would get the justice he wanted.”

“He was heartbroken. Grieving and feeling guilty.” I turned toward Theo. “And you killed him?” It wasn’t an accusation. Not really. It was confusion and shock mixed with my own grief.

Theo didn’t respond, taking the blame until Niall said, “No, I did.”

“But he is…” I started, my voice catching, “wasyour nephew.”

“Family doesn’t do what he did.” Niall’s eyes grew misty. “His mother stood by me through a lot of shit I shouldn’t have put her through because that’s what family does. When it came time to protect Ben and her, I failed. But I turned it around for Ben. I did what I could to give him a life she’d have been happy about. And he threw that away. It was an insult to Theo and me, but it was like pissin’ on her grave. That’snotfamily.”

Even if I wanted to say something, I couldn’t. There was a lump in my throat, choking me as my stomach threatened to revolt.

Be a dream. Just a bad, weird dream.

“My gattina,” Theo said, speaking for the first time in a while. “Sit. Please.”

I gave a bobblehead nod, but didn’t move. “He’s really gone?” My question ended on a sob.

Surprisingly, when I felt arms around me, they weren’t Theo’s. Niall hugged me, whispering apologies I doubted he meant. He let me cry, trying to soothe me.

After a little while, he shifted me into Theo’s arms. They exchanged a few low spoken words about meeting the next day, but I wasn’t paying much attention as Niall left.

For a while, it’d felt like Ben was my only real friend. He’d been funny and encouraging, trying to teach me to bake and keeping me company. It wasn’t that I was his responsibility because I was his boss’ girlfriend.

He’d been my friend.

And he’d tried to have me kidnapped.

“Why?” I hadn’t meant to speak the word.

“Why what?” Theo asked.

“Ben got people to try to kidnap me?” When Theo didn’t answer, I pulled away and looked at him through narrowed eyes. “Why?”

Rubbing his hand across his clenched jaw, he studied me as he answered. “He wanted to protect you. They weren’t going to hurt you, just get you away from me before you could get hurt.”

My confusion shifted to anger. “That’s not his decision. Even if he’d have told me what was going on, I wouldn’t have left you. I told you I’m all in, and I meant—”

Theo’s lips crashed down on mine. Holding me close, his body leaned forward, curving mine with it. It wasn’t a sexual kiss, but something much more. There was passion and need.

Relief.

Desperation.

Love.

---